All Star Break? Real Star: Balk

EFL Standings for 2016

Old Detroit:  W, 6 – 0. (.308, .357, .538;  10.7 ip, 0 er). I listened to most of Old Detroit’s Madison Bumgarner’s start Sunday afternoon, partly to enjoy John Miller and partly because Bumgarner took a no-hitter into the eighth inning.  Who broke it up?  Jake Lamb.  Of the Dragons.

The next batter was Wolverine Brandon Drury — who grounded into a double play to end the 8th inning. .

Bumgarner (Burn Gamer) finished his nine shutout innings, facing only one man over the minimum (who’d gotten aboard on an error), so I guess I should be happy. Also, the W’s regained first place, so that’s a consolation, too.  And I do admire what the Dragons accomplished in those two at-bats:  Lamb’s hit for a little boost to their offense, setting up Drury’s double play as an extra hindrance to the Wolverines.  Neatly done. And still annoying.

By the way: have you noticed that Lamb’s last name can be rearranged to spell “Blam” — appropriate for the Dragon slugger.

Haviland: “W”, 2 – 3. (.226, .250, .355;  5 ip, 1 er). Carlos Carrasco dodged a bullet Sunday.  In his 3.2 innings of work (81 pitches) he allowed 5 runs to score. But thanks to an error or two, only one of them was an earned run. Still, Carrasco’s luck and Blam’s cleverness weren’t enough to keep the Dragons in first place, so we go into the All-Star break with law and order restored in the EFL.

Canberra: W, 6 – 4. (.324, .375, .459; 7 ip, 3 er). So far the season’s arc has to be a bit frustrating for Kangaroo fans the world over.  They started strong, spent nearly all of May in first place, but since then have been sagging, sinking through the standings.  Since June 1, Bryce Harper (Hyper Carber, probably)  has been hitting a relatively puny .273, .378, .439, only the fifth-best OPS on the ‘Roos over that stretch.  The ‘Roos depend on their straw stirring their drink, which it hasn’t been doing lately.

Peshastin: W, 4 – 3. (.271, .314, .354; 3 ip, 0 er).  JT Realmuto didn’t do much yesterday — a double in 5 trips to the plate — but neither did any other Pear, and I couldn’t pass up the chance to point out that Realmuto really is on a season-long Meal Tour.

Flint Hill: W, 4 – 2.  (.282, .293, .410; 8.3 ip, 1 er.)  Kenta Maeda stepped up with 7 strong innings (1 er) to left the Tornados definitively above .500.  I have to say part of me is disappointed that the predictions were wrong about the Tornado farm team, the Funnel Clouds, making an appearance in NW Oregon yesterday.  But then, their 2016 star Albert “Amoral” Almora had already been called up to the big leagues with the Tornados, so we would have missed his 2 for 4 with a double and a walk anyway.

Cottage: W, 6 – 0. (.298, .340, .511;  13 ip, 2 er). If I recall, last year the Cheese ended the season like this: with a record that looked like they had won as many as they lost, but with a winning percentage just under .500,  revealing their wins had been rounded up and their losses rounded down.  Well, they’re at it again here at the All-Star Break (Stab All Raker). On one hand you have Chris I Et An Ant going 0 for 4, albeit with a walk.  But on the other hand you have Jay Cuber polishing his trade value with a 2 for 4.

Kaline:  “W”, 5 – 6.(.333, .429, .389;  1 ip, 2 er ).  Only seven hitters and one pitcher appeared for the Drive.  In their defense they did supply an outsized number of all stars — only two of which played Sunday (Michael Asunders and Kris “Elmer” Bantry).  The hitters who did appear batted well.  The one pitcher, Daniel Duh Son, didn’t.

DC: L, 2 – 7. (.214, .267, .250;  5.3 ip , 2 er).  The Balk stagger into the All Streak Bar , aware that they are now the Real Last Balk.  The Reds are coming down their way, but for the moment the Twins and Braves have made mini-surges  the Balk couldn’t copy. Unfortunately, of the 9 Balk batters to appear Sunday, five took 0-fers, leaving all the work to Robbie Gross Man (1.200 OPS) and his equally offensive teammate Whit Fried Miler (.900 OPS).   Still, I think it’s right to celebrate the Balk’s arrival at their firstAll Star Break .