It’s still early in the season — this is how Wolverine fans greet each other every time. “It’s still early in the season. Manny Machado will not bat .176 all year.” But they could also greet each other less cheerily: “It’s still early. Clayton Richard is still a mirage.”
Perhaps one could triangulate to an accurate vision of the future by taking into account both the highs and the lows in early season stats. If we homogenize them this way, can we foresee our teams’ futures? Let’s find out.
EFL Standings for 2017
EFL | ||||||
TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB | RS | RA |
Cottage Cheese | 13 | 3 | .804 | — | 102.2 | 50.5 |
Peshastin Pears | 12 | 4 | .753 | 0.8 | 69.5 | 39.9 |
Haviland Dragons | 10 | 6 | .620 | 2.9 | 101.7 | 79.5 |
Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 9 | 6 | .610 | 3.2 | 62.1 | 49.7 |
Kaline Drive | 9 | 7 | .562 | 3.9 | 63.8 | 56.3 |
Flint Hill Tornadoes | 7 | 7 | .519 | 4.6 | 58.9 | 56.7 |
Portland Rosebuds | 7 | 9 | .435 | 5.9 | 58.0 | 66.1 |
Canberra Kangaroos | 6 | 9 | .387 | 6.6 | 53.6 | 67.4 |
Old Detroit Wolverines | 5 | 9 | .365 | 6.8 | 47.0 | 61.9 |
D.C. Balk | 5 | 10 | .324 | 7.5 | 64.4 | 93.0 |
Cottage: W, 10 – 3. (.357, .387, .857; no pitching). The Cheese are OPSin .904 as a team. Their team ERA is 3.05. Sick. But that’s not our focus today. What we want to know is: Who are the Cheese’ best and worst, so far? Hitters: Bryce Harper (68 PA, .400, .515, .818); Maikel Franco (10 for 58, .172, .246, .362). Pitchers: Archie Bradley (9.3 ip, 0 er); Sean Manaea (16.3 ip, 10 er –but 20 SO v. 9 walks, so he’s going to get better) (just great).
Peshastin: DNP, 1 – (-2). (.292, .393, .542; 3.3 ip, 2 er). Hitters: Probably Khris Davis (1.071 OPS in 64 PA) but I’m going with Trey Mancini (.321, .367, .786 in 30 PA); Devon Travis (.104, .173, .104 over 31 PA).
Haviland: W, 10 – 6. (.353, .450, .941; 11 ip, 6 er). Hitters: Zach Cozart (!) (53 PA, .400, .481, .667)… don’t believe it? OK, how about Steven Souza (73 PA, .349, .438, .603)… can’t imagine former Hagerstown Suns as star hitters? OK how about Geovany Soto (18 PA, .267, .389, .867)… too few plate appearances? Boy are you picky… OK, OK,: Miguel Sano (65 PA, .235, .400, .588). Well, Jabari Blash and Raisel Tapia have 17 PA between them without a hit. Next worse — and here the rest of the league will heave a sigh of relief — is Gary Sanchez (24 PA, .150, .190, .300). Pitchers: Ervin Santana (28 ip, 2 er, 0.64 ERA); Tyler Glasnow (6.7 ip, 9 er, 12.15 ERA).
Pittsburgh: W, 5 – 0. (.258, .361, .387; 13 ip, 2 er). Hitters: Jake Marisnick is batting .313, .450, .688 but only has 19 PA. Tyler Flowers (.407, .484, .444) has only 31 PA. Michael Brantley is the best full-time hitter (56 PA, .286, .375, .469). Not that great for a 4th place team. Pitchers: Stephen Strasburg (28 ip, 9 er, 29 k, 2.89 ERA); Jake Odorizzi (13 ip, 6 er, 4.15). Yes — the worst Allegheny pitcher is better than the Wolverine team.
Kaline: L, 4 – 8. (.235, .316, .353; 4.3 ip, 5 er). Pitchers: James Paxton compiled 23 scoreless innings before getting beat up a little bit last night. He’s still the best of the Drive with 25.3 ip, 30 k, 5 er, 1.78 ERA. The worst: Jhoulys Chacin (23 ip, 12 r, 4.70). That’s a pretty high floor. Hitters: It would be Christian Vazquez (.563, .611, .875) if he had more than 18 plate appearances. Yoenis Cespedes (68 PA, .263, .377, .632) and Aaron Judge (53 PA, .277, .358, .660) are his competitors. Leonys Martin, alas, is the Basketcase of the Drive: 57 PA, .111, .172, .139.
Flint Hill: L, 3 – 6. (.167, .211, .222; 1.3 ip, 0 er). Hitters: Daniel Murphy (64 PA, .344, .375, .557); John Jaso (.100, .217, .100). Pitchers: Brad Hand and Tony Zych have combined for 9 scoreless innings. Otherwise the best is CoreyKnebel (8.3 ip, 1 ER, 12 k, 4 bb).
Portland: W 1, L (-1); (-1) – (-8). (.167, .286, .292; 8 ip, 0 er). Hitters: either Corey Dickerson (63 PA, .322, .365, .576) or Yasiel Puig (65 PA, .273, .273, .545). At the other end of the offensive spectrum: Carlos Perez ( 13 pa, 1 single). Pitchers: Chris Sale (29.7 ip, 3 er, 42 k !!); Jimmy Nelson (18.3 ip, 9 er, 4.42).
Canberra: L, 2 – 9. (.219, .212, .281; 6.3 ip 7 er). Just an awful day in Canberra. Alas. Hitters: Michael Conforto (29 PA, .320, .387, .600) or Mark Reynolds (60 PA, .291, .344, .564). More abysmally, Billy Hamilton (66 PA, .226, .269, .274). Pitchers: Blake Snell (16.3 IP, 5 er, 2.76); at the bottom, the tandem of Dan Altavilla (7.3 ip, 6 er ) and Shawn Armstrong (5.3 ip, 5 er). High floor, low ceiling, team ERA of 4.18.
Old Detroit: “L”, 4 – 3. (.214, .267, .357; 6.7 ip, 1 er). Hitters: Kyle Schwarber (68 PA, .232, .368, .446); Steve Pearce (.154, .214, .154). Pitchers: Clayton Richard (26.7 ip, 9 er, 3.04 ERA) or maybe Madison Bumgarner (27 ip, 9 er, 3.00 ERA) (probably Madison, considering Richard is just a mirage); Corey Kluber (18.3 ip, 13 er, 6.38 ERA).
DC: L, 4 – 7. (.233, .303, .267; 0 ip). Hitters: Mitch Moreland ( 69 PA, .344, .420, .574); Phil Gosselin (1 for 13, .077, .077, .077). Pitchers: Jeremy Hellickson (17 ip, 3 er, 13 s0); Jeff Samardzija (19 ip, 13 er, 6.16 era). If Samardzija is your worst pitcher (who struck out 24 in 19 innings, with 6 walks) you are in great shape.
AL East | ||||
TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
Baltimore Orioles | 10 | 4 | .714 | — |
New York Yankees | 10 | 5 | .667 | 0.5 |
Boston Red Sox | 10 | 6 | .625 | 1 |
Tampa Bay Rays | 9 | 8 | .529 | 2.5 |
Flint Hill Tornadoes | 7 | 7 | .519 | 2.7 |
Old Detroit Wolverines | 5 | 9 | .365 | 4.9 |
Toronto Blue Jays | 3 | 12 | .200 | 7.5 |
NL East | ||||
TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
Washington Nationals | 10 | 5 | .667 | — |
Miami Marlins | 8 | 7 | .533 | 2 |
New York Mets | 8 | 8 | .500 | 2.5 |
Atlanta Braves | 6 | 9 | .400 | 4 |
Philadelphia Phillies | 6 | 9 | .400 | 4 |
Canberra Kangaroos | 6 | 9 | .387 | 4.2 |
D.C. Balk | 5 | 10 | .324 | 5.1 |
AL Central | ||||
TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 9 | 6 | .610 | — |
Detroit Tigers | 8 | 7 | .533 | 1.1 |
Chicago White Sox | 8 | 7 | .533 | 1.1 |
Cleveland Indians | 7 | 7 | .500 | 1.6 |
Minnesota Twins | 7 | 8 | .467 | 2.1 |
Kansas City Royals | 7 | 8 | .467 | 2.1 |
NL Central | ||||
TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
Cottage Cheese | 13 | 3 | .804 | — |
Cincinnati Reds | 9 | 7 | .563 | 3.9 |
Chicago Cubs | 8 | 7 | .533 | 4.4 |
Milwaukee Brewers | 9 | 8 | .529 | 4.4 |
Pittsburgh Pirates | 6 | 9 | .400 | 6.4 |
St. Louis Cardinals | 6 | 10 | .375 | 6.9 |
AL West | ||||
TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
Houston Astros | 11 | 5 | .688 | — |
Haviland Dragons | 10 | 6 | .620 | 1.1 |
Kaline Drive | 9 | 7 | .562 | 2 |
Oakland A’s | 8 | 8 | .500 | 3 |
Seattle Mariners | 7 | 10 | .412 | 4.5 |
Los Angeles Angels | 7 | 10 | .412 | 4.5 |
Texas Rangers | 6 | 10 | .375 | 5 |
NL West | ||||
TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
Peshastin Pears | 12 | 4 | .753 | — |
Colorado Rockies | 10 | 6 | .625 | 2 |
Arizona Diamondbacks | 10 | 7 | .588 | 2.5 |
Los Angeles Dodgers | 8 | 8 | .500 | 4 |
Portland Rosebuds | 7 | 9 | .435 | 5.1 |
San Diego Padres | 7 | 10 | .412 | 5.5 |
San Francisco Giants | 6 | 10 |