May Day. May day! MAYDAY!! – The Official EFL Web Site

We’ve had three days in May already, the third of them simply spectacular around these parts: sunny all day, warm… I got to drive through some of the prettiest spots in northwestern Oregon yesterday. On my way home from my folks’ old place I took a detour through Laurelwood and Bald Peak State Park and along Mountaintop Road. The views were edenic, heart-stoppingly beautiful.

In the EFL we’ve also had three days in May. Of course May 1 was the official May Day. Maybe you’ve had one or more beautiful May days like mine was in reality yesterday. Maybe you had a May day on which you Made Hay. Or maybe your ship is sinking, and it’s been Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!

(Editor’s note: According to Wikipedia, the distress call “mayday!” was invented by a British airport radio officer by the name of Frederick Stanley Mockford, inspired by the French phrase “m’aider” meaning “help me.” Look at that guy’s moniker. He took a nice, simple, honest name and stuck “ford” on the end. He probably spells theater wrong, too. Don’t you feel sorry for the British, so insecure they have to gild their names, adopt affected spellings, and try to pass for French even when they’re in a grave emergency? It’s probably got something to do with sticking with cricket rather than adopting the more democratic and down to earth baseball.)

EFL Standings for 2017

EFL
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB	RS	RA
Cottage Cheese	20	7	.733	—	163.5	98.5
Flint Hill Tornadoes	17	9	.652	2.3	130.6	95.4
Kaline Drive	18	10	.631	2.6	137.9	106.2
Peshastin Pears	18	10	.628	2.7	123.0	100.4
Pittsburgh Alleghenys	15	10	.586	4.1	119.2	99.8
Haviland Dragons	16	12	.562	4.6	153.4	139.0
Canberra Kangaroos	12	15	.445	7.9	115.4	128.8
Old Detroit Wolverines	11	15	.412	8.6	94.3	123.6
Portland Rosebuds	11	17	.406	8.9	121.5	147.7
D.C. Balk	10	17	.373	9.7	129.5	170.9

Cottage : W 1, L 2; 15 – 19. (.209, .364, .326; 36.7 ip, 21 er, 5.15 ERA). The Cheese have not had a great May so far. Sure, Mike Trout has a May OPS of 1.403. I didn’t say the world had ended. But Travis d’Arnaud’s OPS is 0.143 — one-tenth of Trout’s, at most, since d’Arnaud’s sole offensive contribution so far has been an intentional walk, which is worth a little less as a runs-creator than unintentional ones. Of course, the highlight of the Cottage May so far has been (in my eyes and the eyes of the vast majority in the EFL) the Cheese debut of Cottage’s new $15,750,000 pitcher, Danny Duffy: 5 ip, 6 er. This is not the worst performance in the EFL — oh, no, not by far, let me tell you — but on a per-dollar basis it is Titanic.

— … —

Did you know that the original Titanic could not have used “Mayday!” as its distress call, since the term was not adopted until the 1920’s. At least, if Wikipedia is to be trusted. So the Titanic would have used Morse Code for SOS: … — … . Which makes a dandy graphic device for this post.

… — …

Flint Hill: W 2, L 1; 15 – 10. (.258, .355, .424; 26.7 ip. 8 er). When was the last time we had the Tornadoes in second place? I don’t remember. So: Congratulations, Flint Hill. Also, Congratulations on Byron Buxton’s fast start in May: 2 for 8 with a triple and a homer. Also Manual Margot’s 2 for 6 with a triple and a walk. That’s a pair of very promising young outfielders playing in Flint Hill. But now you’re in second, and that makes you responsible for making a pennant race. 2.3 games out isn’t close enough at this stage. So don’t relax! You’ve got work to do.

… — …

Kaline: W 2, L 1; 23 – 20. (.298, .352, .672; 11.3 ip, 6 er.) The Drive offense is in awesome form, OPSing over 1.000 as a team! Here’s a possible Drive lineup with its May figures:

CF Bourjos (.429, .429, .571)

LF Desmond (.444, .444, 1.111)

3B Bryant (.400, .455, .900)

1B Alonso (.571, .625 1.429)

RF Judge (.500, .572, 1.250)

DH Coghlan (.375, .375, .750)

2B Owings (.333, .400, .667)

SS Aybar (.200, .200, .800)

C Zunino (.200, .333, .400)

And then on the bench you’d still have

PH Saunders (.333, .333, .667)

By the way: if you’re looking for someone who pitched worse than Duffy, look at Marcus Stroman (3 ip, 6 er). For starters.

… — …

Peshastin: W 1, L 1; 8 – 19. (.219, .291, .368; 20.7 ip, 23 er). Ouch. The Pears wilted with the first warm weather we’ve had. Javier Baez and Trey Mancini combined to go 10 for 17 with a double, a triple, and two homers. The rest of the team went 15 for 97 with 2 doubles and 1 homer. And then, there’s the pitching. Out of the four Pear starting pitchers, only Carlos Carrasco managed to allow fewer earned runs than innings pitched. Matt Wisler surrendered 7 er in 2 ip. If the Pears can get their radio working, they need to be calling “Mayday!” into the void. But even this is not the worst anyone in the EFL has done so far in May.

… — …

Pittsburgh: W, 7 – 5. (.333, .430, .500; 16.7 ip. 9 er). The Alleghenys only got one game in so far in May, so I guess the pleasant May days we’ve been enjoying here aren’t found where ever the Alleghenys are in their travels. Among the days worse than Duffy’s we find here the aptly named Graveman, who got 3.3 done with 6 earned runs allowed. Still, solid offense allowed the Allegehnys to rise up above their surroundings. The offensive leader? Former Wolverine (and EWIE, depending on how you define the infield) Yan Gomes: 4 for 7 with a double and a walk.

… — …

Haviland: W 3, L 0; 12 – 6. (.206, .345, .324; 32 ip, 7 er). Somehow the Dragons wrung three wins out of a 12- 6 score — and it’s impressive they could get 12 runs out that batting line, with its modest OPS, even over three games. Still, that team 1.97 ERA covers a lot of flaws. Ervin Santana and Carlos Martinez combined for 13.3 scoreless innings to anchor the rotation, as the Dragons made hay.

… — …

Canberra: W 1, L 1; 11 – 7. (.254, .328, .456; 25.4 ip, 9 er, 3.19 ERA). Kangaroo fans may have been dismayed by Taijuan Walker’s 4.7 up, 3 er performance, especially since it came with 5 walks. But other pitchers picked up the slack, and Michael Conforto conforted Canberra fans by going 7 for 14 with two doubles, a homer and 2 walks so far in May.

… — …

Old Detroit: W 1, L 2; 10 – 31. (.200, .274, .432 ; 11.3 ip, 18 er, 14.34 ERA). Old Detroit on May Day made a mess, its “hitters” collecting 2 hits in 28 at bats. I called “Mayday!” and waited for a better May day. Do remember my broken rotation, the one that now goes Kluber, Liriano, Moore, Wood, and then injured people? Well, Kluber coughed up 5 runs in 3 innings and went straight to the DL. That evening, Moore faced off against Wood. In the second inning Wood gave up 4 runs, 3 earned. In the bottom of the inning, Moore gave up 5, then 4 more in the next inning and a third. The crowning insult? Wood drove in two of those runs against his new teammate. Moore, my $9 million pitcher, has a 24.33 May ERA. “Mayday! Mayday! My team has a 14.34 May ERA!!” The saving grace? Steve Pearce, thitherto dead, arose with a 3 for 3 day with 2 homers, a double and a walk. He followed that up May 3 with another homer and a single. The other grace: allocations weren’t due until Wednesday evening. I made at least four major allocation overhauls between Tuesday morning and Wednesday afternoon. It’s all a messy patchwork, and it depends on Pearce not re-collapsing, but maybe…

Portland: W 1, L 1; 9 – 7. (.238, .354 .369; 34 ip, 13 er, 3.45 ERA). Remember how Mark insisted he wanted Blake Parker instead of Kyle Parker? Well, ok, if you insist: Blake Parker went 1.3 ip and allowed 4 er, a sweet, neat little triple chulk. Everyone else did fine, so the damage was contained, but still there’s irony there. Carlos Correa led the offense: 5 for 12 with 2 doubles, and homer and a walk.

… — …

DC: W 0, L 2; 7 – 18. (.239, .304, .389; 21.7 ip, 18 er, 7.50 ERA). How did the Balk pitch at precisely replacement pace? Brett Anderson only got 4 outs before he was battered for 7 earned runs — so his May ERA (47.25) is almost twice Moore’s. Replacement pitching looks pretty good to some of us… well, one of us, anyway.

… — …

Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2017

AL East
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
New York Yankees	17	9	.654	—
Flint Hill Tornadoes	17	9	.652	—
Baltimore Orioles	16	10	.615	1
Boston Red Sox	15	12	.556	2.5
Tampa Bay Rays	14	15	.483	4.5
Old Detroit Wolverines	11	15	.412	6.3
Toronto Blue Jays	9	19	.321	9

NL East
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Washington Nationals	18	9	.667	—
Miami Marlins	12	14	.462	5.5
Philadelphia Phillies	12	14	.462	5.5
Canberra Kangaroos	12	15	.445	6
New York Mets	12	15	.444	6
Atlanta Braves	11	15	.423	6.5
D.C. Balk	10	17	.373	7.9

AL Central
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Pittsburgh Alleghenys	15	10	.586	—
Minnesota Twins	14	11	.560	0.7
Cleveland Indians	15	12	.556	0.7
Chicago White Sox	14	12	.538	1.2
Detroit Tigers	14	13	.519	1.7
Kansas City Royals	9	17	.346	6.2

NL Central
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Cottage Cheese	20	7	.733	—
Chicago Cubs	15	12	.556	4.8
St. Louis Cardinals	13	13	.500	6.3
Milwaukee Brewers	14	14	.500	6.3
Cincinnati Reds	13	14	.481	6.8
Pittsburgh Pirates	12	15	.444	7.8

AL West
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Houston Astros	19	9	.679	—
Kaline Drive	18	10	.631	1.3
Haviland Dragons	16	12	.562	3.3
Los Angeles Angels	15	14	.517	4.5
Seattle Mariners	12	16	.429	7
Oakland A’s	11	16	.407	7.5
Texas Rangers	11	17	.393	8

NL West
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Peshastin Pears	18	10	.628	—
Colorado Rockies	17	11	.607	0.6
Arizona Diamondbacks	17	12	.586	1.1
Los Angeles Dodgers	15	14	.517	3.1
San Diego Padres	12	17	.414	6.1
Portland Rosebuds	11	17	.406	6.2
San Francisco Giants	11	18	.379	7.1

Final note:

Tuesday morning, bereft of EFL updates and slogging through my grading, I ran across this headline on MLB.com:

Mock is ticking for Draft’s top picks

With the updated, expanded Top 100 Draft Prospects list unveiled, Mock Draft season is officially underway. More

I’m not entirely sure what Mock Draft season is, or why it gets underway on May 2, or why “ticking” is the proper verb to describe what I am doing, but, sure, I’d much rather be drafting than grading. So — where do we sign up? ‘Cause it’s not like my current roster is worth much.

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