League Updates

Care Package

August 18, 2017
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Some of our EFL colleagues are in captivity today, condemned to a day of torment and grief in an interminable faculty meeting. Those of us blessed by profession, retirement, or sabbatical have a duty to remember our brethren in their suffering, and to do what we can to succor them and nourish their hope for liberation and eventual return to kith and kin.

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I shall do my part in this update. It will be sent to our imprisoned colleagues in secret, to give them a taste of home, a glimpse of sunlit summer, a bit of news, if they can manage to receive this missive without being detected by their captors.

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EFL Standings for 2017
EFL
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB RS RA
Pittsburgh Alleghenys 81 37 .683 — 676.5 458.1
Haviland Dragons 78 43 .648 3.6 722.4 531.5
Flint Hill Tornadoes 77 43 .642 4.6 620.1 462.2
Cottage Cheese 77 43 .639 4.9 653.5 486.9
Portland Rosebuds 70 49 .590 10.9 685.5 560.4
Kaline Drive 68 53 .565 13.7 599.7 523.6
Peshastin Pears 67 52 .560 14.4 584.9 525.5
Old Detroit Wolverines 64 56 .531 17.8 600.3 548.1
Canberra Kangaroos 56 63 .467 25.4 566.3 606.1
D.C. Balk 45 74 .377 36.2 579.0 747.9
Stats are for games Wednesday and Thursday.
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Pittsburgh: W 2, L (-1); 10 – 1. (.361, .429, .705; 11.7 ip, 3 er).  Ten Alleghenys OPSed 1.000 or better, led by Yan Gomes’ 3 for 3 with a homer and a walk. Lance Lynn turned in 6 ip, 1 er to key some good pitching.
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Haviland: W 1, L 1; 18 – 12. (.309, .413, .632;  18.o ip, 12 er).  Six Dragons OPSed 1.000 or better, led by Neil Walker’s 2 for 3 with a homer and a walk  and Anthony Rizzo’s 5 for 9 with three doubles and a homer.  Yu Darvish turned in 6 ip, 3 er to try to remedy some pretty crummy pitching.  The Dragons were 1 of only 2 teams who
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Flint Hill: W, 9 – 4. (.258, .324, .591; 17.3 ip, 8 er). Five Dragons OPSed 1.000 or better, led by Keon Broxton’s 2 for 4 with two homers.  Charlie Morton turned in 6.3 ip with only 1 earned run to partially remedy what was otherwise pretty middling pitching.
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Cottage: W 2, L 0; 12 – 7. (.333, .383, .569;  18.3 ip, 7 er).  Six Cheese OPSed 1.000 or better, led by Wil Myers’ 4 for 5 with two doubles and two walks.  Luis Severino turned in 6.3 innings without any earned runs to help offset mediocre pitching by Chris Archer an Danny Duffy.
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Portland: “L”, 8 – 7.  (.319, .390, .507;  18. ip, 11 er).  Six Rosebud’s OPSed 1.000 or better, led by Chris Iannetta’s 1 for 1 with a homer and 3 walks (that’s a 5.000 OPS).  Jon Gray turned in 6 innings with 2 earned runs to lead a mediocre pitching performance.
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Kaline: W 1, L 1; 8 – 7.  (.278, .338, .500; 19.7 ip, 8 er) . Four Drives OPSed 1.000 or better, led by Yonder Alonso’s 3 for 4 with his first Mariner homer.   Marcus Stroman turned in 6.3 ip with 2 earned runs to key some solid Drive pitching.
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Peshastin: “W”, 2 – 3. (.175, .266, .386; 18.0 ip, 8 er). Three Pears OPSed 1.000 or more, led by Joey Gallo’s 2 for 7 with a double, a homer, and a walk. Carlos Carrasco turned in 5 innings with 1 earned run to salvage a decent day’s pitching and qualify the Pears for a “win.” 
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Old Detroit:  W, 10 – 3. (.339, .423, .581; 13,3 ip, 6 er).  Five Wolverines OPSed 1.000 or better, led by Mallex Smith’s 3 for 5 with a double, a triple, and a walk .  Clayton Richard turned in 9 shutout innings to mostly make up for Wade LeBlanc’s latest projectile vomiting of 4 earned runs in a single inning.
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Canberra: W 2, L 0; 17 – 15. (.313, .371, .578; 15.3 ip, 11 er).  Four Kangaroos OPSed 1.000 or more, led by Tim Beckham’s 2 for 4 with a homer and a walk.   Taijuan Walker turned in 5.3 ip with 3 earned runs to embody the Kangaroo’s woeful pitching out of which two official wins somehow miraculously emerged.
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D.C.: W 0, L 2; 5 – 13. (.321, .472, .500;  12.0 ip, 4 er). Four Balks  OPSed 1.000 or moire led by Kole Calhoun’s 1 for 3 with a homer and a walk.  Robert Gsellman turned in 5.3 ip with 2 er in a vain effort to salvage a win when the Balk accumulated most of a game’s worth of replacement play.
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Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2017
AL East
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Flint Hill Tornadoes 77 43 .642 —
Boston Red Sox 69 51 .575 8
New York Yankees 65 55 .542 12
Old Detroit Wolverines 64 56 .531 13.3
Baltimore Orioles 59 62 .488 18.5
Toronto Blue Jays 59 62 .488 18.5
Tampa Bay Rays 60 63 .488 18.5
NL East
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Washington Nationals 72 47 .605 —
Miami Marlins 58 61 .487 14
Canberra Kangaroos 56 63 .467 16.4
Atlanta Braves 54 65 .454 18
New York Mets 53 66 .445 19
D.C. Balk 45 74 .377 27.1
Philadelphia Phillies 43 76 .361 29
AL Central
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Pittsburgh Alleghenys 81 37 .683 —
Cleveland Indians 66 52 .559 14.6
Minnesota Twins 60 58 .508 20.6
Kansas City Royals 61 59 .508 20.6
Detroit Tigers 53 67 .442 28.6
Chicago White Sox 45 73 .381 35.6
NL Central
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Cottage Cheese 77 43 .639 —
Chicago Cubs 63 57 .525 13.7
Milwaukee Brewers 63 59 .516 14.7
St. Louis Cardinals 62 59 .512 15.2
Pittsburgh Pirates 58 63 .479 19.2
Cincinnati Reds 51 71 .418 26.7
AL West
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Haviland Dragons 78 43 .648 —
Houston Astros 74 47 .612 4.4
Kaline Drive 68 53 .565 10.1
Los Angeles Angels 62 59 .512 16.4
Seattle Mariners 61 61 .500 17.9
Texas Rangers 60 60 .500 17.9
Oakland A’s 53 68 .438 25.4
NL West
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Los Angeles Dodgers 85 34 .714 —
Portland Rosebuds 70 49 .590 14.8
Peshastin Pears 67 52 .560 18.3
Arizona Diamondbacks 67 54 .554 19
Colorado Rockies 67 54 .554 19
San Diego Padres 54 67 .446 32
San Francisco Giants 49 74 .398 38