No, really, my Brain is fine. Why do you ask?

(NOTE:  the picture accompanying this post on the webpage is of Enzo Rawat, the famous soccer player. I received it while I was doing this write up — you’ll see the moment as you read this. Enzo is the one who looks like a soccer player, with the bright yellow socks.)

The top of the EFL standings is bubbling.  Convection dragged the Drive down to third place, and popped Canberra back up to first.  The Cheese, more used to fondue than most, are simmering along just under the ‘Roos. And of course Tornados are a 100% convection confection.

With that much turbulence at the top, there must be some real heat coming from below.  And there is.  Preseason-favorite Portland is four layers down, in fifth place, but only 1.1 games out.  And the upstart Outs are just behind them.

Then come the always-dangerous Triumvirs — Old Detroit, Pittsburgh, Haviland– all in the lower division, but all within 3 games of the lead. DC is not out of it by any means.  And even last place Peshastin is… ummmm… still in the league!

We are enjoying a long spring, with hope beating in (nearly) every breast.

EFL
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB	RS	RA
Canberra Kangaroos	12	8	.619	—	99.9	78.3
Cottage Cheese	12	8	.610	0.2	110.9	88.7
Kaline Drive	13	9	.572	0.8	105.8	91.5
Flint Hill Tornadoes	11	9	.565	1.1	87.0	76.3
Portland Rosebuds	11	9	.556	1.3	90.7	81.1
Brookland Outs	11	9	.530	1.8	105.3	99.2
Old Detroit Wolverines	10	10	.509	2.2	76.7	75.3
Pittsburgh Alleghenys	9	9	.489	2.6	95.4	97.5
Haviland Dragons	10	12	.471	3	95.0	100.7
D.C. Balk	9	11	.429	3.8	70.0	80.8
Peshastin Pears	7	13	.343	5.5	86.3	119.4

Canberra: W, 5 – 0. (.263, .333, .368; 9.3 ip, 1 er).  Yes, I know it’s exciting that the ‘Roos are back atop the standings. They are probably dancing in the streets in Canberra, and the Petworth neighborhood, too, where the greatest concentration of American Kangaroo fans is reputed to live. Blake Snell is the real deal, judging by his 7 ip, 1 er. But how can I concentrate on the ‘Roos when I’ve just learned the great Enzo Rawat (Wolverine grandson and Kangaroo nephew) is right this very moment debuting in the first soccer game of his long and legendary career?  I am getting updates from the scene (in Seattle), where the score is, apparently, “45-0.” For the other team.

Cottage: DNP, 4 – 0. (.379, .438, .724; 13.7 ip 6 er). Manaea mania is breaking out in the Cottage for some reason — apparently Danny Duffy in his 4.7 innings accounted for all 6 of the earned runs the Cheese allowed. And the only homer surrendered, and all 10 hits allowed. Hmm.  There might be something big afoot there — but what I really want to know is this: has Enzo scored yet?

Kaline: L, 7 – 14. (.286, .436, .405; 9.3 ip, 11 er). Yikes. Paxton (4 ip, 5 er) and Stroman (5.3 ip, 6 er) both got beaten up a little bit.  Sort of like what’s going to happen to some poor little kids’ soccer team once Enzo lets loose. You should get over there and see for yourself, Tom!

Flint Hill:  “L”,  7 – 6. (.261, .393, .565; 2 ip, 0 er).  Marcus Semien carried the Tornados on his back yesterday, with his homer, walk and single in 4 trips to the plate.  (Come on, let’s have more news from Seattle. It’s been five minutes!)  Ok, if you don’t like “Flint Hill Ferrets” all that much, how about “Flint Hill Convection Confections”? You could have an annual Convection Confection Convention.

Portland: “L”, 4 – 4. (.234, .308, .362; 8 ip, 3 er). If Paul Goldschmidt wanted to hit for the cycle, he should have clouted a homer.  (Now I see that “no one’s keeping score, so it’s all good. (Everyone is keeping score.)”)

Brookland: W 1, L (-1); 0 – (-6). (.256, .356, .564; 13.3 ip, 6 er). I bet the Outs are keeping score.  Here they sit, above the EFL Legends, because CJ Cron blasted two homers, and, apparently, their 13.3 ip yesterday obliterated some replacement stats (like Enzo is probably about to do).

Old Detroit: L, 2 – 5. (.167, .255, .262; 5 ip 3 er).  Who cares? (I wonder if the game is already over?). The W’s are no longer Triumvirs, really, anyway.

Pittsburgh: W 2, L 2; 22 – 21. (.368, .442, .526; 7 ip, 2 er and a bunch of replacement innings, I’m guessing, but I don’t have time to look them up.) I just included the W’s in the Old Guard because Triumvir looks a lot better than Duumvir. No one wants to be called a Duumvir.

Haviland: “L”, 3 – 1. (.143 .269, .286; 11.7 ip, 5 er). There should be some kind of a thing for a player, or a team, whose slugging percentage is exactly twice their batting average. Rats. “Duumvir” is already taken.  (C’mon, Melissa, how’s the game going?)

DC: W, 3 – 2. (.194, .306, .258; 10.7 ip, 4 er). I apologize for my distraction, but this is the first time I’ve had a grandson playing in a soccer game. I don’t know the etiquette, but it seems reasonable, doesn’t it, to inflict… I mean, share incessantly with everyone within earshot?

Peshastin: L, 5 – 8. (.313 .368, .500; no pitching.) Jose Iglesias: 3 for 5. Haniger homered. (No news from Seattle, even now (10:30 am).  I hope this doesn’t mean Enzo is in the hospital or something.)

.

AL East
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Boston Red Sox	17	3	.850	—
Toronto Blue Jays	13	7	.650	4
Flint Hill Tornadoes	11	9	.565	5.7
New York Yankees	10	9	.526	6.5
Old Detroit Wolverines	10	10	.509	6.8
Tampa Bay Rays	7	13	.350	10
Baltimore Orioles	6	15	.286	11.5

NL East
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
New York Mets	14	6	.700	—
Philadelphia Phillies	13	7	.650	1
Canberra Kangaroos	12	8	.619	1.6
Atlanta Braves	12	8	.600	2
Washington Nationals	10	11	.476	4.5
D.C. Balk	9	11	.429	5.4
Miami Marlins	5	15	.250	9

AL Central
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Cleveland Indians	10	8	.556	—
Minnesota Twins	8	7	.533	0.5
Pittsburgh Alleghenys	9	9	.489	1.2
Detroit Tigers	9	10	.474	1.5
Chicago White Sox	4	13	.235	5.5
Kansas City Royals	4	15	.211	6.5

NL Central
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Cottage Cheese	12	8	.610	—
St. Louis Cardinals	12	8	.600	0.2
Milwaukee Brewers	13	9	.591	0.2
Pittsburgh Pirates	12	9	.571	0.7
Brookland Outs	11	9	.530	1.6
Chicago Cubs	9	9	.500	2.2
Cincinnati Reds	3	17	.150	9.2

AL West
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Houston Astros	15	7	.682	—
Los Angeles Angels	14	7	.667	0.5
Kaline Drive	13	9	.572	2.4
Seattle Mariners	11	8	.579	2.5
Oakland A’s	10	11	.476	4.5
Haviland Dragons	10	12	.471	4.6
Texas Rangers	7	15	.318	8

NL West
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Arizona Diamondbacks	14	6	.700	—
Portland Rosebuds	11	9	.556	2.9
Colorado Rockies	12	10	.545	3
Los Angeles Dodgers	9	10	.474	4.5
San Francisco Giants	8	12	.400	6
San Diego Padres	8	14	.364	7
Peshastin Pears	7	13	.343	7.1