I will be spending part of this Fathers Day morning listening to Melanie preach at North Valley Friends. This has set me to wondering: will this be one of those uplifting sermons about how dads are part of God’s loving providence to families? Or will it be more in the line of fire and brimstone. The answer to this question would come in handy in helping me decide where to sit.
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EFL Standings for 2018
| EFL | ||||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB | RS | RA |
| Portland Rosebuds | 42 | 28 | .601 | — | 356.0 | 283.7 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 41 | 29 | .584 | 1.2 | 310.2 | 261.7 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 39 | 27 | .585 | 1.5 | 284.7 | 239.4 |
| Brookland Outs | 40 | 30 | .572 | 2.1 | 376.3 | 326.0 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 35 | 31 | .531 | 5 | 277.1 | 260.2 |
| Cottage Cheese | 36 | 34 | .513 | 6.2 | 342.3 | 335.1 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 35 | 34 | .507 | 6.6 | 353.8 | 354.9 |
| Kaline Drive | 35 | 37 | .490 | 7.8 | 310.6 | 317.4 |
| Haviland Dragons | 34 | 38 | .474 | 8.9 | 305.0 | 321.5 |
| Peshastin Pears | 31 | 39 | .437 | 11.5 | 290.7 | 333.5 |
| D.C. Balk | 30 | 40 | .426 | 12.2 | 286.1 | 332.1 |
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Portland: W, 5 – 4. (.211, .286, .500; 1 ip, 0 er). First place
Flint Hill: L, 2 – 3. (.086, .179, .200; 0 ip, 0 er). Fifth Place
Kaline: “L”, 4 – 3. (.231, .362, .333; 7.3 ip, 3 er). Eighth Place
Haviland: L, 1 – 3. (.138, .167, .276; 13 ip, 4 er). Ninth Place
The Johnson clan retained a firm claim on first place with the Rosebud’s win. JT Realmuto carried the Rosebuds with his 3 for 4, two home run day at the plate. The Dragons’ Sean Newcomb twirled 6 scoreless innings to lead the Dragons’ excellent day on the mound. The Drive had four batters OPSing over 1.000, led by Aaron Judge’s 2 doubles in 4 plate appearances.
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Those are the details, but step back and look at the big picture. Isn’t Mark Johnson playing the role of Joseph, with all the others in his clan kneeling to him in fulfillment of prophecy? Haviland is old Isaac, doddering along at the back of the clan. Jamie embodies the older brothers (the league isn’t big enough for 12 Johnson brothers, so this portrayal simplifies the story line). Tom… hmm. Maybe one of you Biblical scholars can help me out here.
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Anyway: this is a unique way for the Johnsons to spend Father’s Day, with the youngest son lording it over Dad (and everyone else in the clan — and the entire league, to boot)!
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Hey! Wait a minute! Isn’t Joseph supposed to be the SECOND most powerful person in the kingdom? Step aside, Portland, or be branded as a heretic!
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Canberra: W, 5 – 2. (.214, .255, .524; 15.3 ip, 1 er). Second place.
Old Detroit: W, 5 – 4. (.268, .326, .366; 18.7 ip, 6 er). Third place.
On Father’s Day, the Kangaroos got the outstanding performances: Rhys Hoskins went 3 for 4 with a double, a homer and a walk. Wade LeBlanc pitched 7.7 shutout innings with 9 strikeouts.
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More to our point: it looks like the Kangaroos’ Fathers’ Day gift to the Wolverines was to leap from 4th place into 2nd place, shoving the W’s back into third place. And instead of spending Father’s Day with his father, Ryan is in Omaha, getting barbecued in the super-heated wind and scouting the Heimlichs (who got bombed by North Carolina) and Madrigals of the world. But don’t jump to conclusions. Ryan means no disrespect. Delayed gifts are a family tradition. For example, Ryan didn’t get his birthday present hand-delivered from his loving Dad until 45 days after his birthday. My hand-delivered Father’s Day present isn’t due until about August 1.
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Brookland: L, 2 – 3. (.156, .289, .188; 11 ip, 1 er). Fourth place. I gather the Boss of Brookland doesn’t have any kids, and I don’t know his father. But maybe he can take Jordan Lyles’ 7 strong innings with only 1 earned run as his Father’s Day present from the universe. It would be more meaningful, maybe, if Lyles was active more than 0%.
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Cottage: W, 4 – 2. (.222, .323, .370; 21 ip, 9 er). Sixth place — the EFL sweet spot. The Votaw progeny convinced the Commissioner to deliver 8 scoreless innings from Luis Severino as their Fathers Day gift to their beloved patriarch. That gift was very expensive, S you can imagine. They wanted to double that gift with a Danny Duffy shutout, but that was out of their price range. Way, way out: Duffy’s line Saturday was a neat 6 ip, 6 er.
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Pittsburgh: W, 7 – 2. (.257, .350, .457; 15.3 ip, 7 er). Seventh Place. That Nick Castellanos is hogging the Detroit limelight, and did it again Saturday: 3 for 5 with two homers! Leave some of those heroics for Jeimer Candelario, please! By the way, Marco Estrada’s 6.7 scoreless innings against the Yankees was ordered by your two sons, I believe. I have no other theory for how that was possible.
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Peshastin: W, 2 – 1. (.200, >226, .300; 6.3 ip, 1 er). Tenth Place Tim and James have been saving up for months, apparently, because let me tell you days in which Devon Travis goes 2 for 3 with a homer AND Zach Eflin pitches 5 innings with only 1 earned run are rare and super-expensive. Enjoy the gift, and the ticket it provided to get you out of the cellar. For one day, at least.
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DC: L, 3 – 12. (.290, .313, .452; 8.3 ip, 9 earned runs.) That pitching hurts. It hurts a little worse because Alex Cobb (7 ip, 5 er) is allocated as a reliever, where the Balk have plenty of innings. But triple-chulking Carlos Carrasco (1.3 ip, 4 er) only covered starting pitcher 1.3 innings, adding 3.7 innings of replacements to do further damage to the Balkan cause. Essentially, you got 12 innings of pitching with 12 earned runs allowed! It’s hard to see where the Father’s Day gift is in all that mess. Maybe JT Riddle’s 2 for 3 with a double? Face it: your family needs to shop in better stores when it comes to Father’s Day EFL presents.
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Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2018
| AL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| New York Yankees | 46 | 20 | .697 | — |
| Boston Red Sox | 48 | 24 | .667 | 1 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 39 | 27 | .585 | 7.4 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 35 | 31 | .531 | 10.9 |
| Toronto Blue Jays | 32 | 38 | .457 | 16 |
| Tampa Bay Rays | 32 | 38 | .457 | 16 |
| Baltimore Orioles | 19 | 50 | .275 | 28.5 |
| NL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Atlanta Braves | 41 | 29 | .586 | — |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 41 | 29 | .584 | 0.1 |
| Washington Nationals | 37 | 30 | .552 | 2.5 |
| Philadelphia Phillies | 36 | 32 | .529 | 4 |
| New York Mets | 29 | 38 | .433 | 10.5 |
| D.C. Balk | 30 | 40 | .426 | 11.2 |
| Miami Marlins | 28 | 43 | .394 | 13.5 |
| AL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Cleveland Indians | 36 | 33 | .522 | — |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 35 | 34 | .507 | 1 |
| Detroit Tigers | 35 | 37 | .486 | 2.5 |
| Minnesota Twins | 31 | 36 | .463 | 4 |
| Chicago White Sox | 24 | 45 | .348 | 12 |
| Kansas City Royals | 22 | 48 | .314 | 14.5 |
| NL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Milwaukee Brewers | 42 | 28 | .600 | — |
| Chicago Cubs | 40 | 27 | .597 | 0.5 |
| Brookland Outs | 40 | 30 | .572 | 2 |
| St. Louis Cardinals | 36 | 32 | .529 | 5 |
| Cottage Cheese | 36 | 34 | .513 | 6.1 |
| Pittsburgh Pirates | 35 | 35 | .500 | 7 |
| Cincinnati Reds | 25 | 45 | .357 | 17 |
| AL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Houston Astros | 47 | 25 | .653 | — |
| Seattle Mariners | 46 | 25 | .648 | 0.5 |
| Los Angeles Angels | 38 | 33 | .535 | 8.5 |
| Oakland A’s | 35 | 36 | .493 | 11.5 |
| Kaline Drive | 35 | 37 | .490 | 11.7 |
| Haviland Dragons | 34 | 38 | .474 | 12.9 |
| Texas Rangers | 28 | 44 | .389 | 19 |
| NL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Portland Rosebuds | 42 | 28 | .601 | — |
| Arizona Diamondbacks | 39 | 31 | .557 | 3.1 |
| Los Angeles Dodgers | 37 | 32 | .536 | 4.6 |
| Colorado Rockies | 34 | 36 | .486 | 8.1 |
| San Francisco Giants | 34 | 37 | .479 | 8.6 |
| San Diego Padres | 34 | 39 | .466 | 9.6 |
| Peshastin Pears | 31 | 39 | .437 | 11.5 |