The Mariners won last night. This is newsworthy these days. The M’s made a bargain with the devil this year, but bought a damaged package at half price. They missed the fine print where it said the deal would expire at the half-way point in the season, after which all benefits would be repossessed. I figure when they get back down to .500 they’ll be square with Satan.
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But on the way down, they had a bit of fun last night, scoring 6 runs in the first two innings off Justin Verlander. Haniger led off with a homer, Span tripled, Segura doubled, and Nelson Cruz drove in two runs with a single. A reverse cycle by the first 4 hitters in the game. According to the media, that was the first time it’s ever been done in all of recorded history! (Apparently it is possible the ancient Minoans pulled it off, although the box score has gone missing.)
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From a Mariners fan perspective, that’s big, exciting news. But if you’re Mookie Betts? Ho hum. Mookie hit for a cycle all by himself on the same day. Not in order, mind you — he went single, triple, double, homer. And it was only the first time in his career. But one gets the impression he thinks he might do it again some day. In fact, why not today? (You heard it here first.)
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EFL Standings for 2018
| EFL | ||||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB | RS | RA |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 72 | 44 | .621 | — | 563.7 | 429.5 |
| Portland Rosebuds | 70 | 46 | .601 | 2.4 | 594.1 | 478.0 |
| Brookland Outs | 67 | 47 | .590 | 3.8 | 602.8 | 509.5 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 62 | 52 | .544 | 9 | 592.5 | 554.1 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 62 | 52 | .540 | 9.6 | 518.2 | 482.3 |
| Cottage Cheese | 61 | 53 | .536 | 10 | 582.2 | 540.0 |
| Haviland Dragons | 59 | 57 | .510 | 12.9 | 525.1 | 512.5 |
| Kaline Drive | 59 | 57 | .509 | 13 | 521.2 | 508.3 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 59 | 57 | .508 | 13.1 | 522.7 | 510.8 |
| Peshastin Pears | 54 | 62 | .465 | 18.2 | 492.5 | 531.8 |
| D.C. Balk | 48 | 66 | .424 | 22.7 | 479.1 | 560.0 |
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Old Detroit: “L”, 11 – 8. (22 PA, .389, .500, 1.556; 4 ip, 7 er, 15.75 ERA) The Wolverines were distracted last night by the news: Felix Hernandez was sent to the bullpen mid-way through the Seattle/Texas game. He’s going to work from there for an indefinite time. As the only EFL team ever to employ King Felix, the Wolverines are taking this pretty hard. Rick Porcello, in fact, couldn’t control his grief and melted down completely in his 4 innings of work. Even though they hit like crazy — all six Wolverine batters OPSed 1.250 or better, blasting 4 homers among their 7 hits and 4 walks as against only 3 strikeouts — and outscored their foes, the W’s counted the game as a loss to show how they feel about the King.
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Portland: W 1, L (-1); 4 – 1. (17 PA, .500, .471, .929; 5 ip, 4 er). Betts’ cycle also included a walk, earning him a 3.500 OPS on the day. Why isn’t there a term for a cycle plus a walk? Maybe it should be called a Grand Cycle — or maybe that should require a HBP, too. A Royal Cycle? I wonder how many cycles have included walks. By the way — Betts got some help from Anthony Rendon, who went 2 for 3. But otherwise Betts was pretty much the whole show in Portland last night, so I stand by my title.
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Brookland: DNP, 1 – 1. (40 PA, .243, .300 ,.486; 6.7 ip, 2 er). It took a village of 5 pitchers, but the Outs managed to assemble some pretty solid pitching yesterday. The hitting was ok, too, with Hicks and Bellinger blasting homers. I am pretty sure the Outs would have won their game had they had one.
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Pittsburgh: W, 5 – 0. (26 PA, .261, .308, .522; 5 ip, 4 er, 7.20 ERA) JD Martinez and Jurickson Profar each homered Thursday, but Ryan Borucki struggled through 5 innings. The Alleghenys’ fortunes were boosted when the Alleghenys filed the necessary paperwork to get Eovaldi added to the team with his 5 scoreless August innings. (The “necessary paperwork” was a note to the Commissioner pointing out Eovaldi’s stats weren’t coming through in the August standings or the team stats.)
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Canberra: DNP, (-1) – 0. (19 PA, .158, .158, .158; 18.7 ip, 11 er, 5.36 ERA). The Kangaroos continued their Mariners-class slide Thursday. Three of their 4 hitters went one single for 5 ABs each. The fourth went 0 for 4. And the best of their starting pitchers, Kluber and Paxton, each allowed 4 earned runs, making 8 in a total of 12.7 innings pitched.
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Cottage: DNP, 1 – (-4). (24 PA, .158, .333, .526; 7 ip, 1 er, 1.29 ERA). Yonny “Who is He?” Chirinos pitched well again (5 ip, 1 er) and got plenty of backup from two relievers and the hitters. Well, “hitters” isn’t the right word. They only went 3 for 19. But they walked 5 times, too, to explain the solid OBP, and of their three hits, two were homers and the other was a double. With 8 strikeouts, 5 walks and two homers, 15 of the team’s 24 plate appearances were resolved with one of the Three True Outcomes, for a stratospheric TTO rate of 62.5%. Cottage Cheese — the Champions of Boring Baseball!
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Haviland: W, 6 – 2. (13 PA, .250, .308, .500; 3 ip, 0 er). The Dragons have surged all the way to 7th in the standings, atop a very tight clump of three teams within 0.2 games of each other in the sizzling race for 7th place. Newly acquired Caleb Ferguson provided the lion’s share of the pitching: 1.7 ip, 0 er.
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Kaline: “L”, 5 – 4. (28 PA, .200, .286, .600; 6 ip, 2 er, 3.00 ERA). Neil Walker blasted two homers and Hunter Renfroe went 4 for 4, including a grand slam homer, to lead the Drive offense. Junior Guerra pitched well. The Drive continue to cruise along just above .500, scuffling for a respectable place in the EFL standings.
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Flint Hill: L, 5 – 8. (15 PA, .400, .400, .867; 1 ip, 4 er, 36.00 ERA). The Tornados got a poor turnout for yesterday’s game — only 4 batters and two pitchers. So of course they slid into 9th place. But those that came out did pretty well. All four hitters actually got hits, three of them OPSing 1.250 or better. But Corey Knebel threw it all away with an infinite chulk — 0 innings pitched, 4 earned runs. Thus the T’s find themselves all the way down to 9th place! With Mike Trout aboard!
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Peshastin: DNP, 2 – 0. (37 PA, .343, .378, .543; no pitching). Mitch Haniger is a Pear. His 4 for 4 with two doubles and a homer led the Pear offense with 2.600 OPS. Devon Travis backed him up going 2 for 3 with a walk. The Pears floated a little closer to .500.
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DC: DNP, 0 – (-1). (18 PA, .333, .375, .333; 2.7 ip, 0 er, 0.00 ERA) Eduardo Nunez led the way: 3 for 4 with no walks — and no extra bases, either. Gabriel Moya supplied the excellent pitching.
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Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2018
| AL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Boston Red Sox | 81 | 35 | .698 | — |
| New York Yankees | 72 | 42 | .632 | 8 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 72 | 44 | .621 | 8.9 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 59 | 57 | .508 | 22 |
| Tampa Bay Rays | 58 | 57 | .504 | 22.5 |
| Toronto Blue Jays | 52 | 62 | .456 | 28 |
| Baltimore Orioles | 35 | 80 | .304 | 45.5 |
| NL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Philadelphia Phillies | 64 | 50 | .561 | — |
| Atlanta Braves | 62 | 50 | .554 | 1 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 62 | 52 | .540 | 2.5 |
| Washington Nationals | 59 | 56 | .513 | 5.5 |
| D.C. Balk | 48 | 66 | .424 | 15.6 |
| New York Mets | 47 | 65 | .420 | 16 |
| Miami Marlins | 47 | 69 | .405 | 18 |
| AL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Cleveland Indians | 64 | 50 | .561 | — |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 62 | 52 | .544 | 1.9 |
| Minnesota Twins | 53 | 61 | .465 | 11 |
| Detroit Tigers | 47 | 68 | .409 | 17.5 |
| Chicago White Sox | 41 | 73 | .360 | 23 |
| Kansas City Royals | 35 | 79 | .307 | 29 |
| NL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Brookland Outs | 67 | 47 | .590 | — |
| Chicago Cubs | 66 | 48 | .579 | 1.3 |
| Milwaukee Brewers | 66 | 52 | .559 | 3.3 |
| Cottage Cheese | 61 | 53 | .536 | 6.2 |
| St. Louis Cardinals | 60 | 55 | .522 | 7.8 |
| Pittsburgh Pirates | 60 | 56 | .517 | 8.3 |
| Cincinnati Reds | 50 | 65 | .435 | 17.8 |
| AL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Houston Astros | 73 | 43 | .629 | — |
| Oakland A’s | 68 | 47 | .591 | 4.5 |
| Seattle Mariners | 66 | 50 | .569 | 7 |
| Haviland Dragons | 59 | 57 | .510 | 13.8 |
| Kaline Drive | 59 | 57 | .509 | 13.9 |
| Los Angeles Angels | 58 | 58 | .500 | 15 |
| Texas Rangers | 51 | 66 | .436 | 22.5 |
| NL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Portland Rosebuds | 70 | 46 | .601 | — |
| Los Angeles Dodgers | 64 | 52 | .552 | 5.7 |
| Arizona Diamondbacks | 64 | 52 | .552 | 5.7 |
| Colorado Rockies | 60 | 55 | .522 | 9.2 |
| San Francisco Giants | 57 | 59 | .491 | 12.7 |
| Peshastin Pears | 54 | 62 | .465 | 15.8 |
| San Diego Padres | 46 | 71 | .393 | 24.2 |