The Haviland Javelin Dragon with a Cannon

Poor Boston Red Sox! They limp into Phoenix on their long season-opening West Coast trip with a puny 2 – 6 record, having lost 3 games out of 4 to the upstart Mariners, and 3 more out of 4 to the Athletics.

The M’s beat the Sox by pounding their starters into submission. The A’s beat the Sox by arming a Dragon with a cannon.

It’s a bad picture, sorry, and probably you can’t recognize who this is — unless you’re a fan of the A’s or the Dragons.  Or maybe the Red Sox.

That is Ramon Laureano, first round rookie draft pick of the Haviland Javelins.  No, sorry, that would be a good name, for rhythm and rhyme. The Haviland Dragons own him, and he threw out Red Sox in three of the last four games.

First he threw Tornado Red Sock Xander Bogaerts out at the plate, throwing from mid-center field.  The next night he threw Bogaerts out again, this time at third.  Then last night he threw out Rosebud Red Sock Mookie Betts — who had not been paying attention — again at third.

You doubt me about the paying attention part? Here is Red Sox manager Joey Cora:

“We’re not paying attention to details.”

Cora clearly was recalling the details Betts’ was ignoring in his attempt to go from first to third with none out, down 7 – 3, on a blooper to center being fielded by Laureano. But he might also have been thinking about the details forgotten on this fly ball last night, which Jackie Bradley, Jr. had a 99% chance to catch and Betts had a 95% chance to catch, according to Statcast, which means there was a 0.0005 chance that neither would catch it…

… which neither Betts nor Bradley caught.  Because neither of them called for it.

A 0.0005 chance. Once in 2000 such plays.  If that play happened once a game, you’d see it about every 22 years.  But that play doesn’t happen once a game. It happens maybe, what, 10 times a season? 15? Ok, let’s make it 20. You should see Mookie and Jackie do this once a century.

About as often as a team with the Mariners’ current talent  and hot start will win the World Series. Just sayin’.

Look, I’m not in favor of another John Johnson EFL championship. But I’m not in favor of another Mark Johnson EFL championship, either.  Nor am I all that excited about a Jamie Johnson EFL championship.  Even a Tom Johnson EFL championship doesn’t appeal to me as much as a Tom Johnston one would. I’m suffering from Johnson overload.  So under current conditions if a Haviland Javelin Dragon with a cannon can bag a brace of Bogaerts and a Betts, I’m all for it.

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