Item 1: Dave has packed his computer, and is en train to leave the continent and thence the entire hemisphere. The League hereby officially wishes him “bon voyage” and offers its prayers for his safe travels. (And yes, according to a slightly spun interpretation of the recent Hobby Lobby case, corporate bodies can have wishes and make prayers.)
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Item 2: I told you last night that John and I had a nice conversation at the NHS JV baseball game Wednesday. I forgot the most poignant part.
John had noticed the Mariners’ loss Wednesday afternoon. He was rooting for the Astros to win, so they could pass the M’s into first place and take three games off the Dragons’ season (since Haviland shares the AL west with the Astros and Mariners) and, presumably, rid them of some replacement innings and/or plate appearances. And he got his wish, which is one of the reasons the Dragons pushed past the Wolverines in the Thursday morning standings.
If you share my empathy for the plight of the Dragons (and Drive) who have to play quadruple headers followed by the loss of three games every time the M’s and Astros swap the lead, then you will be moved to hear that the Astros lost Thursday (2 – 1), while the Mariners eked out a victory over the Rangers (14 – 2).
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EFL Standings after games of April 25 2019
| EFL | ||||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB | RS | RA |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 17 | 8 | .687 | — | 166.7 | 112.6 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 16 | 8 | .652 | 1 | 144.5 | 105.5 |
| Portland Rosebuds | 16 | 10 | .615 | 1.7 | 161.6 | 127.9 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 13 | 9 | .611 | 2.2 | 117.4 | 93.7 |
| Kaline Drive | 15 | 13 | .535 | 3.7 | 97.5 | 90.9 |
| Cottage Cheese | 11 | 13 | .449 | 5.9 | 126.7 | 140.3 |
| Peshastin Pears | 11 | 15 | .434 | 6.4 | 125.7 | 143.7 |
| D.C. Balk | 10 | 14 | .412 | 6.8 | 107.3 | 128.1 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 10 | 15 | .408 | 7 | 116.5 | 140.4 |
| Brookland Outs | 9 | 15 | .385 | 7.4 | 109.1 | 138.1 |
| Haviland Dragons | 11 | 17 | .392 | 7.7 | 127.9 | 159.4 |
| Bellingham Cascades | 8 | 14 | .357 | 7.8 | 107.2 | 144.0 |
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Flint Hill: DNP, (-1) – 2. (19 PA, .313, .450, .313; 5 ip, 4 er, 7.20 ERA) Must be so tough being a nearly .700 team. On a day off your hitters amass a .450 OBP and a .313 BA, and you LOSE a run. And your lead shrinks to a single game. Heartache!
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Canberra: W 1, L (-1); 0 – (-4). (18 PA, .250, .333, .438; no pitching). Somehow on a day off with no pitching, the Kangaroos reduced their runs allowed by 4. The likely culprit: a copy/paste error in yesterday’s update.
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Portland: DNP, (-1.5) – 0. (15 PA, .231, .313, .385; no pitching.) The Rosebuds slipped a but on their day off, but less than the Dragons did, so they crept a tenth of a game closer.
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Pittsburgh: W (-1), L 1; (-5) – 0. (24 PA, .136, .208, .182; no pitching.) The Alleghenys batted a lazy 3 for 22, graced with 2 walks and a double. Not enough to keep “pace” with the Tornados.
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Kaline: W 1, L 3; 13 – 21. (17 PA, .143, .278, .143; no pitching). The Drive got thrown head over heels in the tidal wave that carried the Mariners back into first place in the AL West. Those sudden three losses carried Kaline just outside the top pack of teams, but not back into the bottom horde.
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Cottage: W 1, L (-1); 1 – (-4). (13 PA, .333, .385, .750; 3 ip, 0 er, 0 ERA). The Cheese are in 6th place, so they probably want to see themselves as being in the upper division of the league. But they are under .500, and closer to Bellingham than to Kaline. So they may have a technical claim to upper divisionhood, but socially and economically they are as lower class as any of the rest of us in the proletariat. They are more Bucket than Bouquet, and to pretend otherwise would make them as silly as Hyacinth. (I know this is a slightly obscure reference, but it is so apt…)
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Peshastin: W (-1), L 1; (-2) – 3. (13 PA, .091, .231, .182; 5 ip, 5 er, 9 ERA). James Taillon faltered badly, while the pair of pairs of Pears present at the plate also performed poorly, plunging Peshastin past their arch-rival Cheese. (Why is alliteration so much more alluring when it comes to “p”? Even “four Pears” fell before the appeal of a “pair of pairs of Pears” because the p’s compelled me. Please help! I can’t stop! )
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DC: DNP, 1 – (-3). (18 PA, .267, .368, .600; 1 ip 0 er, 0.00 ERA) I’m guess the on inning replaced a replacement. It’s easier to see how Benintendi’s spree (2 for 3 with 2 doubles and a walk) might produce an extra run on a day off.
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Old Detroit: DNP, 0 – (-1). (27 PA, .250, .333, .417; 1.7 ip, 0 er, 0.00 ERA). Don’t have much to say. (What did you say? Impossible?) If even Cottage is closer to the cellar than to 5th place, what does that say about Old Detroit?
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Brookland: DNP, (-1) – (-1). (18 PA, .188, .263, .250; no pitching) Cody Bellinger OPSed 1.500 in the midst of a sluggish off day. But then I think he does that every day.
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Haviland: W 1, L 3; 18 – 29. (13 PA, .100, .308, .100; 1 ip, 0 er, 0.00 ERA). Those Mariners swamped the Dragons, who not only went 1 – 3, they fell three places in the standings. That pathetic batting line didn’t help, but fortunately the Dragons trimmed their sails — or their wings, I suppose — with only 13 plate appearances, or the Dragons would have awakened in the cellar.
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Bellingham: DNP, 1 – 0. (30 PA, .231, .333, .423; no pitching) The Cascades came out in force, as if there was a game on, and hit well enough to improve their position by about a millimeter. In the abstract, that is, as compared to some fixed point in the universe. In the concrete they gained 0.3 games on the Tornados, and 1.1 games on the Dragons.
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Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2019
| AL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 17 | 8 | .687 | — |
| Tampa Bay Rays | 16 | 9 | .640 | 1.2 |
| New York Yankees | 14 | 11 | .560 | 3.2 |
| Toronto Blue Jays | 11 | 14 | .440 | 6.2 |
| Boston Red Sox | 11 | 15 | .423 | 6.7 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 10 | 15 | .408 | 7 |
| Baltimore Orioles | 10 | 16 | .385 | 7.7 |
| NL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 16 | 8 | .652 | — |
| Philadelphia Phillies | 13 | 11 | .542 | 2.7 |
| New York Mets | 13 | 11 | .542 | 2.7 |
| Atlanta Braves | 12 | 11 | .522 | 3.2 |
| Washington Nationals | 11 | 12 | .478 | 4.2 |
| D.C. Balk | 10 | 14 | .412 | 5.8 |
| Miami Marlins | 7 | 17 | .292 | 8.7 |
| AL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 13 | 9 | .611 | — |
| Minnesota Twins | 13 | 9 | .591 | 0.4 |
| Cleveland Indians | 14 | 10 | .583 | 0.4 |
| Detroit Tigers | 12 | 10 | .545 | 1.4 |
| Chicago White Sox | 9 | 14 | .391 | 4.9 |
| Bellingham Cascades | 8 | 14 | .357 | 5.6 |
| Kansas City Royals | 8 | 17 | .320 | 6.9 |
| NL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| St. Louis Cardinals | 15 | 9 | .625 | — |
| Pittsburgh Pirates | 12 | 10 | .545 | 2 |
| Chicago Cubs | 12 | 10 | .545 | 2 |
| Milwaukee Brewers | 13 | 13 | .500 | 3 |
| Cottage Cheese | 11 | 13 | .449 | 4.2 |
| Cincinnati Reds | 9 | 14 | .391 | 5.5 |
| Brookland Outs | 9 | 15 | .385 | 5.8 |
| AL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Seattle Mariners | 17 | 11 | .607 | — |
| Houston Astros | 15 | 10 | .600 | 0.5 |
| Kaline Drive | 15 | 13 | .535 | 2 |
| Oakland A’s | 14 | 13 | .519 | 2.5 |
| Texas Rangers | 12 | 12 | .500 | 3 |
| Haviland Dragons | 11 | 17 | .392 | 6 |
| Los Angeles Angels | 10 | 16 | .385 | 6 |
| NL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Portland Rosebuds | 16 | 10 | .615 | — |
| Los Angeles Dodgers | 15 | 11 | .577 | 1 |
| San Diego Padres | 14 | 11 | .560 | 1.5 |
| Arizona Diamondbacks | 14 | 11 | .560 | 1.5 |
| San Francisco Giants | 11 | 14 | .440 | 4.5 |
| Colorado Rockies | 11 | 14 | .440 | 4.5 |
| Peshastin Pears | 11 | 15 | .434 | 4.7 |