It’s a little pathetic, really, these old guys all dressed up in the uniforms they wore when they dominated the league. They have lately been in the bottom ranks of the league, worn out, confused, discouraged. But they got new players last Friday evening, and their hopes up, and their uniforms out, and their backs straight, and on the march. The older (and more recently champion) guy from Kansas has pushed his way into the outer fringes of the upper division. The younger coot, a confirmed and re-confirmed has-been, is suddenly only 0.2 games behind his Kansan colleague.
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Are they still trying to win? That attitude will get them in trouble someday. But for now you may smile indulgently, give them an encouraging nod, and let them dream for a while of past glories.
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EFL Standings for 2019
| EFL | ||||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB | RS | RA |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 23 | 11 | .664 | — | 213.6 | 152.9 |
| Portland Rosebuds | 24 | 13 | .640 | 0.4 | 233.8 | 174.6 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 21 | 13 | .604 | 2 | 203.6 | 168.4 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 19 | 14 | .566 | 3.4 | 161.9 | 142.2 |
| Kaline Drive | 17 | 18 | .484 | 6.1 | 128.9 | 133.8 |
| Haviland Dragons | 17 | 18 | .472 | 6.6 | 157.9 | 172.1 |
| Peshastin Pears | 17 | 20 | .471 | 6.6 | 176.8 | 186.9 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 16 | 18 | .463 | 6.8 | 175.8 | 187.3 |
| Cottage Cheese | 14 | 21 | .409 | 8.8 | 160.5 | 191.3 |
| D.C. Balk | 13 | 21 | .385 | 9.5 | 157.7 | 197.3 |
| Bellingham Cascades | 12 | 21 | .376 | 9.6 | 149.8 | 194.6 |
| Brookland Outs | 13 | 22 | .358 | 10.5 | 150.6 | 202.9 |
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Flint Hill: W, 0 – 0. (33 PA, .129, .182, .258; 8.3 ip, 0 er, 0.00 ERA). Amazing. Tornados as the minimalest minimalists ever. They actually scored 0.3 runs (even though Adalbert Mondesi homered) while surrendering exactly 0 (thanks mostly to Miles Mikolas’ 7 shutout innings) leading to a .002 improvement in winning percentage, and a full game’s gain against the Rosebuds.
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Portland: L, 5 – 10. (31 PA, .222, .323, .444; 4.3 ip, 8 er, 16.62 ERA). Newly-drafted Merrill Kelly almost chulked in his first appearance since being added to the roster: 4 ip, 7 earned runs. Brand new reliever Nick Wittgren DID chulk — a modest triple version (o.3 ip, 1 er). Also, other than Carlos Correa and Tommy Pham, who combined to go 5 for 8 with two homers, the Rosebud batters were battened: 1 for 19 with 4 walks: .011, .218, .011. All in all a pleasant little interruption to the ‘Buds march to their second straight pennant.
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Canberra: L, (-1) – 9. (33 PA, .161, .212, .161; 7.7 ip, 7 er, 8.22 ERA) I already told you yesterday about Drew Pomeranz’ 1.7 ip, 7 er quadruple chulk he hurled Monday, so I won’t go back over it today. Blake Snell cleaned up a lot of the mess ( 6 scoreless innings) but he got essentially no help from the ‘Roo offense. Thus the ‘Roos blew their chance to gaine while the Johnson boys were stumbling around.
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Pittsburgh: L, 1 – 7. (37 PA, .114, .162, .229; 0 pitching) Three of the top four EFL teams turned in batting lines far below replacement Monday. They averaged about 0 runs per game, even though each team got at least 1 homer! What a stunning level of accomplishment, only possible in the EFL! Michael Chavis rewarded the Alleghenys’ efforts to activate him with an 0 for 4 day.
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Kaline: W, 8 – 8. (44 PA, .300, .364, .525; 4.7 ip, 5 er, 9.64 ERA). Marcus Stroman was battered, but the Drive hitters battered right back to get a microscopically higher score. Hunter Renfroe and Kris Byrant homered to lead the Drive drive.
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Haviland: “W”, 3 – 3. (31 PA, .208, .375, .292; 14 ip, 5 er, 3.21 ERA) Vince Velasquez gave up 5 er in 4 ip but Martin Perez put up 7 scoreless innings to right the ship and squeeze out a very narrow win despite an offense maybe barely better than replacement. It was enough for the on-the-move Dragons to pass the passive Pears.
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Peshastin: L, 3 – 5. (30 PA, .241, .267 .379; 1 ip, 0 er, 0.00 ERA). Adam Eaton homered but there wasn’t enough help from the rest of the team to keep the Pears from sliding into 7th place…
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Old Detroit: W, 4 – (-2). (32 PA, .185, .313, .185; 15 ip. 4 er, 2.40 ERA). I am pretty sure the W’S erased a bit of replacement pitching with a strong performance from Walker Buehler (7 ip, 3 er) and an overpowering one from newbie Chris Paddack (7.7 ip, 0 er, 11 k’s). The W’s got the biggest win in the league Monday despite poor offense, and gained an entire game on first place. They are following close behind the Dragons in their march up the standings.
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Cottage: W 0, L 4; 13 – 23. (32 PA, .333, .412, .667; 0 pitching). Cottage had a great day at the plate — the best in the EFL! But it wasn’t nearly enough to cover a quadruple header caused by the Cardinals vaulting into first place in the NL Central.
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DC: L, 1 – 7. (24 PA, .091, .160, .227; 6 ip, 4 er, 6.00 ERA). DC got two hits, one of them a Markakis homer, but still suffered a stinging loss. I’m guessing the Outs thought they’d have a better day when they saw the Rays winning 12 – 1 with 13 hits. “Hey”, I bet they thought to themselves, “we have Kevin Kiermaier now! I bet he raked.” A perfectly reasonable hope: EFLers Tommy Pham (1.850) and Mike Zunino (1.417 OPS) did rake, and Yandy Diaz (.750 OPS with a double) also contributed. Brandon Lowe (.650) and his little brother Nathaniel Lowe (1.350 ) did their family proud by averaging 1.000 OPS. But Kiermaier was the only Rays starter who didn’t get a hit, went 0 for 5, and made the Rays’ last out.
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Bellingham: W (-1), L 2; 1 – 7. (22 PA, .136, .136, .182; 2.3 ip, 1 er, 3.86 ERA) of the 7 Cascade hitters, 6 combined to go 1 for 18. That left Justin Turner to got 2 for 4 with a double. A small tide of replacements (6 ip- worth) larded 7 runs onto their opponent’s plates.
ww. Zack Godley allowed all three runs in his 3 innings. Vlad Guerrero, Jr. continued to channel his inner Lewis Brinson, going 0 for 3 to bring his May batting line to 2 for 19 with a walk, or .105, .150, .105. That’s worse than the entire Brookland team, worse than replacement. So what was all the fuss about before he was promoted?
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Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2019
| AL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 23 | 11 | .664 | — |
| Tampa Bay Rays | 22 | 12 | .647 | 0.6 |
| New York Yankees | 20 | 14 | .588 | 2.6 |
| Boston Red Sox | 17 | 19 | .472 | 6.6 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 16 | 18 | .463 | 6.8 |
| Toronto Blue Jays | 15 | 20 | .429 | 8.1 |
| Baltimore Orioles | 13 | 22 | .371 | 10.1 |
| NL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 21 | 13 | .604 | — |
| Philadelphia Phillies | 19 | 15 | .559 | 1.5 |
| Atlanta Braves | 18 | 17 | .514 | 3 |
| New York Mets | 16 | 19 | .457 | 5 |
| Washington Nationals | 14 | 20 | .412 | 6.5 |
| D.C. Balk | 13 | 21 | .385 | 7.5 |
| Miami Marlins | 10 | 24 | .294 | 10.5 |
| AL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Minnesota Twins | 21 | 12 | .636 | — |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 19 | 14 | .566 | 2.3 |
| Cleveland Indians | 18 | 15 | .545 | 3 |
| Detroit Tigers | 15 | 16 | .484 | 5 |
| Chicago White Sox | 15 | 18 | .455 | 6 |
| Bellingham Cascades | 12 | 21 | .376 | 8.6 |
| Kansas City Royals | 12 | 24 | .333 | 10.5 |
| NL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| St. Louis Cardinals | 21 | 14 | .600 | — |
| Chicago Cubs | 19 | 13 | .594 | 0.5 |
| Milwaukee Brewers | 21 | 16 | .568 | 1 |
| Pittsburgh Pirates | 16 | 15 | .516 | 3 |
| Cincinnati Reds | 15 | 20 | .429 | 6 |
| Cottage Cheese | 14 | 21 | .409 | 6.7 |
| Brookland Outs | 13 | 22 | .358 | 8.5 |
| AL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Houston Astros | 21 | 14 | .600 | — |
| Seattle Mariners | 19 | 18 | .514 | 3 |
| Texas Rangers | 16 | 16 | .500 | 3.5 |
| Kaline Drive | 17 | 18 | .484 | 4.1 |
| Haviland Dragons | 17 | 18 | .472 | 4.5 |
| Los Angeles Angels | 15 | 19 | .441 | 5.5 |
| Oakland A’s | 15 | 21 | .417 | 6.5 |
| NL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Portland Rosebuds | 24 | 13 | .640 | — |
| Los Angeles Dodgers | 23 | 14 | .622 | 0.7 |
| Arizona Diamondbacks | 20 | 15 | .571 | 2.7 |
| San Diego Padres | 20 | 16 | .556 | 3.2 |
| Peshastin Pears | 17 | 20 | .471 | 6.3 |
| Colorado Rockies | 16 | 19 | .457 | 6.7 |
| San Francisco Giants | 15 | 20 | .429 | 7.7 |