The Glories of the EFL

EFL
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB	RS	RA
Portland Rosebuds	100	53	.652	—	974.8	711.3
Flint Hill Tornadoes	98	56	.636	2.4	954.4	718.6
Old Detroit Wolverines	89	65	.579	11	891.1	755.3
Peshastin Pears	84	69	.550	15.6	806.9	732.6
Pittsburgh Alleghenys	83	70	.539	17.2	808.0	734.9
Haviland Dragons	80	73	.521	20	858.2	817.3
Canberra Kangaroos	77	77	.499	23.4	855.8	862.2
Kaline Drive	76	77	.495	24	742.1	751.5
Cottage Cheese	70	83	.456	30	848.5	920.9
Bellingham Cascades	64	89	.421	35.4	693.4	824.5
Brookland Outs	63	90	.410	37	725.5	868.7
D.C. Balk	61	93	.396	39.2	671.2	832.2

Even now, the Rosebuds have not quite nailed down their “inevitable” EFL championship.  They are trying to wander off with the prize despite paltry hitting and non-existent pitching.  They didn’t do this last year when it would have done some good.  But maybe the Tornados can make them pay this year with a last minute surge to the top…

… But not Thursday.  The hitting wasn’t any better, when you factor in how little there was.  There was a pitcher, who got an out without a run (but with a walk and a hitter).  But then there was another pitcher with two walks  and no outs. Both of the walks scored. So on the whole it was worse than the Rosebuds.  The Tornados gained a tenth of a game, but spent an entire game on the schedule to do it, whereas Portland kept its 154th game in its pocket. Advantage: sluggish Rosebuds over stationary Tornados.

The M’s, still down 3-5, bring in Earl Warren (I actually didn’t catch his first name, but it sounded like “Earl”) making his second big league appearance with 1/3 of an inning under his belt.  He got the first out today on his first pitch. His career ERA is  0.00.  I could use him, after my three starters (Bumgarner, Heany, Kikuchi) each gave up as many runs as innings pitched.  Good thing they’ll all be off the W’s roster in 10 days.

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Warren struck out his second batter, so the Orioles announcers (I couldn’t take it any more!) are gushing about him.  I don’t think the Pears need him: their young pitchers can actually pitch, and their hitters had a healthy day.  The Peshastin hold on 4th place looks pretty good right now. Although… I have to wonder what our resident ethicist is going to do about Ozzie Albies after this.

The Alleghenys, with 4th place on the line, went 1 for 15. They got two walks and a HBP, but still — that 0.067 SLG goes too well with that 0.067 batting average.

Matt Wisler is pitching for the M’s.  The O’s announcers are still gushing about Warren, who finished his scoreless inning.  Wisler’s ERA in September is 30.86.  Still is, after he walked his first batter.  It wouldn’t matter if the M’s batted like the Dragons did yesterday, but I don’t think Wisler’s ERA would have been welcome in the Dragon’s pen even with their 16.20 ERA performance yesterday.

Canberra was 76-77 with a .500 winning percentage yesterday (really something like .4996). Today after recording a “win” the ‘Roos are 77-77 with a .499 winning percentage.  Such are the glories of the EFL.  Also, note that the further down the standings we go, the better the teams seemed to play on Thursday? Does that happen in other leagues?

The O’s announcers keep talking about how the M’s have been a hot team. This is because the Mariners have won 5 in a row — two against the White Sox, and three against the Pirates, both teams well under .500.  The Pirates are almost as bad as the Orioles right now, but from the O’s point of view any team with 5 wins in a row seems to be in a higher league.  After all, the M’s have the Drive’s best hitter from Thursday, Omar Narvaez (2 for 5 with a walk).

Pity the poor Pirates.  Their excellent closer, Vazquez, is on the restricted list after being accused of child pornography and possibly worse.  This makes Keone Kela their best reliever, also not a model citizen.  But what do the Cheese care about that? Kela may be a cancer in the Pirate clubhouse, but he can’t poison the Cheese morale. Another glory of the EFL, giving the Head Cheese something pleasant to contemplate when his team can’t OPS better than .455.

Bellingham seems to be settled in at 10th place, although the Outs may still have something to say about that.  But no matter how dismal the locality, the Cascades always have Ronald Acuna to admire (1 for 3 with his 40th homer and a walk yesterday, to go with his 37 SB).  Can he finish a 40-40 season?  Also they have Hanser Alberto, who didn’t do that much Thursday (1 for 4) but has a homer and at least two stellar defensive plays today against the Ms.

The Outs only bothered to bring two batter to the plate Thursday, but they both put on quite a show. So did the three pitchers. With just these players, the 11th place Outs got the first clear win we’ve seen so far in this update.  If it’s that easy, why aren’t the Outs leading the league?

Now the O’s announcers have noticed that the M’s latest pitcher, some guy named McClain (not Denny), has a 7.71 ERA… a fact that they became aware of while he was issuing Hanser Alberto his 16th walk of the season on 4 straight pitches. But McLain got out of the inning without allowing a run.  And here we are, with the 12th place team, and we have the first dominant win in the league.  Clevinger led the way with 6 shutout innings, and all six Balkan hitters made significant contributions, with four of them OPSing 1.000 or better. All the pizzazz was at the bottom of the league Thursday. Thank you, EFL.

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AL East
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
New York Yankees	100	54	.649	—
Flint Hill Tornadoes	98	56	.636	2.1
Tampa Bay Rays	90	63	.588	9.5
Old Detroit Wolverines	89	65	.579	10.8
Boston Red Sox	80	72	.526	19
Toronto Blue Jays	62	91	.405	37.5
Baltimore Orioles	49	104	.320	50.5

NL East
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Atlanta Braves	94	60	.610	—
Washington Nationals	83	68	.550	9.5
New York Mets	79	73	.520	14
Philadelphia Phillies	78	73	.517	14.5
Canberra Kangaroos	77	77	.499	17.2
D.C. Balk	61	93	.396	33
Miami Marlins	53	99	.349	40

AL Central
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Minnesota Twins	94	59	.614	—
Cleveland Indians	90	63	.588	4
Pittsburgh Alleghenys	83	70	.539	11.5
Chicago White Sox	66	86	.434	27.5
Bellingham Cascades	64	89	.421	29.6
Kansas City Royals	56	98	.364	38.5
Detroit Tigers	45	107	.296	48.5

NL Central
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
St. Louis Cardinals	86	67	.562	—
Milwaukee Brewers	83	70	.542	3
Chicago Cubs	82	71	.536	4
Cincinnati Reds	72	81	.471	14
Cottage Cheese	70	83	.456	16.2
Pittsburgh Pirates	65	88	.425	21
Brookland Outs	63	90	.410	23.3

AL West
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Houston Astros	100	53	.654	—
Oakland A’s	92	61	.601	8
Haviland Dragons	80	73	.521	20.3
Kaline Drive	76	77	.495	24.3
Texas Rangers	74	79	.484	26
Los Angeles Angels	69	84	.451	31
Seattle Mariners	65	88	.425	35

NL West
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Portland Rosebuds	100	53	.652	—
Los Angeles Dodgers	98	55	.641	1.7
Peshastin Pears	84	69	.550	15.6
Arizona Diamondbacks	78	75	.510	21.7
San Francisco Giants	74	79	.484	25.7
San Diego Padres	69	84	.451	30.7
Colorado Rockies	66	87	.431	33.7