Jonah and the Whole Shebang

Baseball Prospectus didn’t update yesterday’s stats until after lunch.  So I don’t have time to be long-winded today.  I’ll let the standings do most of the talking .

Jonah prophesied an apocalypse for Nineveh, and then was all bummed out when it didn’t happen, complaining against God for making him look like an idiot or a fraud.

I prophesied an apocalypse for Old Detroit, and threw in catastrophes for others as well.  It hasn’t happened — yet — and I’m a little uneasy about what I’ve done to my reputation regarding veracity, level-headedness, and trustworthiness.  But, you know, I’m not all that bummed out about missing out on an apocalypse (so far).  I don’t think I’m going to go sit outside anyone’s stadium and gripe about God’s grace.

Haviland:  “L”, 5 – 4.  ..229, .333, .371;  12.0 ip, 9 er.  There’s a blight going around that attacks good pitchers and turns them into these … grotesque… things!  Grotesque things that can’t pitch. The W’s had it last week.  Now the Dragons have it.

Old Detroit: W 1, L (-1); 3 – (-2).  Sure, the Alleghenys aren’t looming over us quite so ominously, but we’re still more than 5 games back. Not an apocalypse, maybe, but surely a stormed-tossed boat on the open sea with a whale circling ominously below.

Pittsburgh: L, 3 – 9.  .139 .262, .250;  10.7 ip, 9 er. I saw (on TV)  Iwakuma pitch last night. He sailed along until the 5th inning when, BOOM!, the lowly A’s scored 7 earned runs off him. I was so bummed for the Mariners I didn’t realize right off that the plague had spread. So — if Nineveh had been struck with plague, would the plague have spread to innocent neighboring cities?

Cottage: W 2, L (-1); 9 – 0.  .323, .323, .774;  10 ip, 0 e.  Wow.  Eovaldi suddenly is a super star. No wonder Cottage continues its medioric rise.   (I like it.  I intended to type “meteoric”, but in my groggy post-lunch state it came straight out of my subconscious the way God inspired it.)

Flint Hill: DNP, 1 – (-1). .304, .360, .391;  2 ip 0 er.  It’s shocking how often I struggle to find something interesting to say about the Tornados. Michael Conforto had a 3.000 OPS yesterday — a double in his only plate appearance. This is apparently all the excitement they can stand in Flint Hill.

Peshastin: DNP, 1 – (-1).  .318, .348, .591;  1 ip, 0 er.  Welington Castillo  went 2 for 4 and hit another homer, his 11th since joining the Pears July 1 and 17th over all this season. Which means he hit 6 in three months for the Wolverines and 11 in under two months for the Pears.

Canberra: W, 5 – 3.  .286, .333, .571; 3.3 ip, 1 er. Jose Abreu isn’t all washed up after all: 2 for 4 with a homer and double on the day, .969 OPS for August.

Kaline: W, 4 – 4.  .200, .238, .500;  6.0 ip, 2 er.  Mark Trumbo’s career has revived in Kaline — a nice .264, .344, .585 batting line in August for a team-leading .929 OPS.

Portland: DNP,  (-2) – (-2).   .2oo, .314, .267;  7.3 ip, 2 er.  A rare game in which both teams scored negative runs.  I mean, rare in the EFL.  In MLB I think it’s substantially less common.