Yes, it’s the middle of August. There’s more than one kind of Opening Day, you know. Baseball has an Opening Day. Hunting seasons have Opening Days. Christmas is an Opening Day, considering all the opening happening on that day. And there’s this one, every year on August 15.
Today’s Opening Day festivities are a lot like the one in early April: people will gather in a huge crowd, sit for hours and hours, try to get used to changes in the lineup, and celebrate that this season has returned once again, as it has every year since the 19th century. This year our Opening Day will take place in a squeaky new arena, so there’s that extra excitement.
Also, this Opening Day has ramifications in the EFL. My RPW (readers per word) average will probably go up. You’ll probably get by. Somehow.
EFL Standings for 2016
TEAM |
WINS |
LOSSES |
PCT. |
GB |
RS |
RA |
Old Detroit Wolverines |
74 |
44 |
.629 |
— |
627.2 |
480.6 |
Portland Rosebuds |
73 |
44 |
.622 |
0.9 |
594.5 |
457.2 |
Haviland Dragons |
74 |
45 |
.619 |
1.1 |
592.5 |
468.2 |
Pittsburgh Alleghenys |
70 |
45 |
.612 |
2.4 |
617.2 |
494.1 |
Canberra Kangaroos |
64 |
52 |
.556 |
8.8 |
556.5 |
484.8 |
Peshastin Pears |
64 |
53 |
.551 |
9.3 |
562.3 |
499.7 |
Flint Hill Tornadoes |
57 |
61 |
.486 |
16.9 |
502.8 |
516.6 |
Kaline Drive |
55 |
64 |
.464 |
19.5 |
582.9 |
636.8 |
Cottage Cheese |
53 |
63 |
.460 |
19.9 |
560.3 |
604.4 |
D.C. Balk |
40 |
76 |
.342 |
33.6 |
470.6 |
659.6 |
Old Detroit: “L”, 7- 6. (.279, .326, .488; no pitching).
Portland: W, 6 – (-1). (.320, .370, .580; 28.3 ip, 11 er).
Haviland: W, 7 – 5. (.263, .282, .658; 3.7 ip, o er).
Pittsburgh: “L”, 6 – 5. (.333, .412, .600; 7 ip, 3 er). Great hitting — but only 17 plate appearances.
Canberra: W, 8 – (-1). (.371, .405, .714; 15.7 ip, 1 er). The ‘Roos are SUPER hot right now. Sometime when I have a chance I’ll track this back to where it started, so we can all learn from the Captain Kangaroo how to do this. Can the Kangaroos haul themselves all the way back into the pennant race? If they keep this up, they sure can.
Peshastin: W, 9 – 2. (.357, .364, .690; 8 ip. 4 er). I am sitting next to Phil right now. He just told me his team had a good day. It did. But not near enough to catch up with the Kangaroos.
Flint Hill: L, 3 – 3. (.200, .238, .400; 1 ip, o er).
Kaline: L, 2 – 3. (.188, .257, .281; 6.3 ip, 1 er).
Cottage: W(-1), L 2; 2- 12. (.188, .257, .281; 6.3 ip, 1 er).
DC: “W”, 3 – 6. (.244, .262, .341; 1.7 ip, 0 er).
TEAM |
WINS |
LOSSES |
PCT. |
GB |
Old Detroit Wolverines |
74 |
44 |
.629 |
— |
Baltimore Orioles |
67 |
51 |
.568 |
7.3 |
Toronto Blue Jays |
67 |
51 |
.568 |
7.3 |
Boston Red Sox |
64 |
52 |
.552 |
9.3 |
New York Yankees |
60 |
57 |
.513 |
13.8 |
Flint Hill Tornadoes |
57 |
61 |
.486 |
16.9 |
Tampa Bay Rays |
47 |
69 |
.405 |
26.3 |
TEAM |
WINS |
LOSSES |
PCT. |
GB |
Washington Nationals |
69 |
47 |
.595 |
— |
Canberra Kangaroos |
64 |
52 |
.556 |
4.5 |
Miami Marlins |
61 |
56 |
.521 |
8.5 |
New York Mets |
59 |
58 |
.504 |
10.5 |
Philadelphia Phillies |
56 |
63 |
.471 |
14.5 |
Atlanta Braves |
44 |
74 |
.373 |
26 |
D.C. Balk |
40 |
76 |
.342 |
29.3 |
TEAM |
WINS |
LOSSES |
PCT. |
GB |
Pittsburgh Alleghenys |
70 |
45 |
.612 |
— |
Cleveland Indians |
67 |
48 |
.583 |
3.3 |
Detroit Tigers |
63 |
54 |
.538 |
8.3 |
Kansas City Royals |
57 |
60 |
.487 |
14.3 |
Chicago White Sox |
56 |
61 |
.479 |
15.3 |
Minnesota Twins |
47 |
71 |
.398 |
24.8 |
TEAM |
WINS |
LOSSES |
PCT. |
GB |
Chicago Cubs |
73 |
43 |
.629 |
— |
St. Louis Cardinals |
62 |
56 |
.525 |
12 |
Pittsburgh Pirates |
59 |
56 |
.513 |
13.5 |
Cottage Cheese |
53 |
63 |
.460 |
19.6 |
Milwaukee Brewers |
52 |
64 |
.448 |
21 |
Cincinnati Reds |
48 |
68 |
.414 |
25 |
TEAM |
WINS |
LOSSES |
PCT. |
GB |
Haviland Dragons |
74 |
45 |
.619 |
— |
Texas Rangers |
69 |
50 |
.580 |
4.6 |
Seattle Mariners |
62 |
54 |
.534 |
10.1 |
Houston Astros |
61 |
57 |
.517 |
12.1 |
Kaline Drive |
55 |
64 |
.464 |
18.4 |
Oakland A’s |
52 |
66 |
.441 |
21.1 |
Los Angeles Angels |
49 |
68 |
.419 |
23.6 |
TEAM |
WINS |
LOSSES |
PCT. |
GB |
Portland Rosebuds |
73 |
44 |
.622 |
— |
San Francisco Giants |
66 |
51 |
.564 |
6.8 |
Los Angeles Dodgers |
65 |
52 |
.556 |
7.8 |
Peshastin Pears |
64 |
53 |
.551 |
8.3 |
Colorado Rockies |
56 |
62 |
.475 |
17.3 |
San Diego Padres |
50 |
67 |
.427 |
22.8 |
Arizona Diamondbacks |
48 |
69 |
.410 |
24.8 |
It’s probably real obvious to everybody else what Opening Day this is. Probably some arcane GF ritual that only the Inner Circle knows about.
Oh, and in other news, the Cheese sank beneath the Drive. Congratulations Tom!