A Cheese is a Terrible Thing To Waste

Cottage:  DNP,  (-2) – 0. (.095, .321, .143; 1 p, 0 er). “Cheese” does not invoke images of high energy.  Cheese should not be driving forcefully ahead. It should sort of sit there, complacent, maybe pungent but not forceful.  Like yesterday.  More of this, ok?  I’m disoriented enough without having to deal with dynamic Cheese.

Kaline: W, 5 – 0.  (.222, .364, .333; 8 ip, 1 er). The Drive drove back into second place behind Michael Fulmer’s 7 ip, 1 er (and Joe Kelly’s scoreless inning of relief). It’s so nice to see the Drive Driving, appropriate to their title. They aren’t causing linguistic dissonance.  They are living up to their billing. Finally. Keep Driving!

No, the Commissioner is not taking sides here.  The Commissioner wants ALL teams to live up to their fullest potential.  The Commissioner is happy to let each teams define its own potential.  If the Cheese want to be the Cheese, fine, be the best Cheese you can be.  But be CHEESE, for crying out loud, like you were yesterday:  devoured, not devouring.

Flint Hill:  W 0, L 2; 6 – 9.  (.229, .256, .343;  2.3 ip, 0 er).  The Tornadoes  yesterday acted more like Cheese than the Cheese did.  Scott Van Slyke leapt for joy off the DL and hit a homer in two AB, but that’s almost all there is for Flint Hill highlights yesterday.  But then Tornadoes are not designed to strike every day.  What’s the point of obliterating something you just obliterated yesterday? Let the people pick up, get their lives back in order, and settle back into the routine… then hit ’em again, good and hard. Right?

Peshastin:  L, 5 – 6. (.308, .438, .462; 1 ip, 0 er).  Those are very nice batting numbers,  but they only cover 16 plate appearances.  The pitchers basically didn’t show up — poor Raisel Iglesias was the only one who did.  I guess I shouldn’t complain.  Pears aren’t supposed to be any more dynamic than Cheese.  And in fact, in true Pear fashion, they crept incrementally closer to the top  by 0.2 games — so slowly you can’t really see it while it’s happening, but if you keep it up September will look dramatically different.

Pittsburgh :  W 0, L  (-2); (-12) – (-14).  (.250, .280, .333;  12 ip, 3 er).  When your team is suddenly deprived of two games it had already played, it gets a little crazy.  But losing so many runs AND runs scored… I don’t recall ever seeing it on this scale before.  It’s huge, mountainous even. (Oh, yeah, news:  Estrada allowed 2 er in 6 ip; Odorizzi allowed half that.  Bellinger went 2 for 5 with a double. His May line is .342, .390, .763 in 41 plate appearances.)

Haviland:  W, 7 – 4.  (.333, .412, .733; 6.7 ip, 3 er).  Four Dragons came to bat and all four did some damage, as is a Dragon’s wont: each of the four Dragons drove in one run. The most damage was from Miguel Sano ( 1 for 2 with a homer and two walks) and Zack Cozart (2 for 4 with a double).

Canberra:  DNP, 4 – (-2).  (.441, .457, .529;  7.7 ip, 2 er).  Martin Perez pitched pretty well (6.3 ip, 2 er ) which was enough for the mighty Kangaroo offense to wring an unofficial win out of an off day. The ‘Roos winning percentage bounded from .497 to .510, and they gained 0.6 games on the Cheese. “Bounding” is good for Kangaroos.  Bounding persistently in a specific direction toward the top of something has so far eluded the ‘Roos.

Portland: W, 7 – 1.  (.286, .355, .607;  6.7 ip, 0 er).  Had the Kangaroos not bounded directly toward first place, they might have fallen into 8th.  The ‘Roos and the Rosebuds are nearly tied for 7th as it turns out, Canberra ahead by the slimmest of margins (0.001 in winning percentage). Jimmy Nelson’s shutout over 6.7 innings; Mookie Betts’ 2 for 3 with a double, homer, and two walks; and Carlos Correa’s 2 for 3 with a homer and a walk provided the trellis for the Rosebuds to grow on.

Old Detroit:  W 0, L 2; 7 – 8.  The bad news: the W’s lost two more games.  The bad news: the W’s batted .188 on the day.  The bad news:  Francisco Liriano (May ERA: 15.88) went on the DL,  making 7 Wolverine starting pitchers disabled. The good news: Clayton Richard threw 7 innings, 1 earned run. Shane Greene added a scoreless inning in relief, bringing the team May ERA all the way down to 7.39.  We’re now 1.5% better than replacement!  The bad news: only two teams are worse have worse records than the W’s: tbe Balk, and the San Francisco Giants.  The good news: there could be a franchise draft pick available at #3 overall. Maybe another Manny Machado (batting .227 on the season).  Sigh… the real wolverines, the ones roaming wild, have been driven almost to invisibility, with ever remoter and narrower habitat. Which is exactly what is happening to Old Detroit Wolverines now. Obscurity in the cold dark outer reaches of the league: the natural fate of a Wolverine, I guess.

DC:  DNP, (-3) – (-1). (.120, .241, .280; 1 ip, 0 er) Wolverinian offense combined with almost no pitching will land you at or very near the bottom of the EFL any time.  The good news was Sam Dyson finally getting through an inning without allowing a run — two hits, sure, and no strikeouts, but no one scored. I am not sure “Balk” is a propitious name for a team wanting to go somewhere in a hurray.

Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2017