NTLB

EFL
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB	RS	RA
Cottage Cheese	21	13	.619	—	203.3	159.2
Portland Rosebuds	22	14	.597	0.6	161.6	132.2
Canberra Kangaroos	21	14	.591	0.9	160.2	133.7
Old Detroit Wolverines	20	16	.564	1.7	150.9	133.0
Brookland Outs	19	15	.559	2.1	176.4	158.1
Kaline Drive	21	18	.535	2.7	185.3	173.3
Flint Hill Tornadoes	19	17	.526	3.1	159.0	150.9
Haviland Dragons	18	21	.473	5.1	160.3	170.7
Pittsburgh Alleghenys	15	21	.420	6.9	194.6	228.7
D.C. Balk	14	21	.393	7.8	127.6	159.6
Peshastin Pears	14	22	.382	8.3	154.9	195.8

Cottage:  DNP, 2  – 1. (.333, .355, .433; 1.3 ip, 0 er).  The Cheese are having trouble remembering the League motto:  No Team Left Behind (NTLB). They keep trying to leave 10 teams behind.  Yesterday, though, they paused for just a bit to see if anyone would try to catch up. Backup shortstop Xander Bogaerts, pressed into duty after Corey Seager went down for the season, went 3 for 5 with a double to lead a robust Cheese offensive, but most of the rest of the team showed restraint.

Portland:  W 2, L (-1); 9 – 1.  (.387, .457, .645; 3 ip. 0 er).  Uh oh.  Here are the Rosebuds on the brink of blossoming into first place glory.  They don’t look like a team being careful to leave no one behind. Although superstar Mookie Betts did cool it. He went 0 for 4 and his walk was intentional, so he himself did no damage to any other team’s aspirations.  His sacrifice was for naught, because Teoscar Hernandez thought for a bit there he was Mookie Betts:  3 for 4 with a homer and a double.

Canberra:  W, 3 – 2. (.231, .250, .423;  10.7 ip, 2 er).  The Kangaroos can attest to the rock-solid nature of our No Team Left Behind motto… as long as you don’t take it as a guarantee that you won’t be left behind the Wolverines.   Although at the moment, even that exception doesn’t seem to be applying:  on a night he lost a game to the Blue Jays, Wade LeBlanc still only allowed 1 earned run in 5 innings.

Old Detroit:  “L”, 8 – 6. (.333, .417, .595; 12.3 ip, 6 er).  Willson Contreras had been slumping until he broke out yesterday: 3 for 5 with five extra bases in the form of a double… and two triples! That ties him for the team lead with 3.

Brookland: DNP, 1 – 0. (.222, .256, .389; 5 ip, 2 er). Why would the Outs ever question our motto. They’ve never even been behind, let alone been left there. They can transform ejecta like Bartolo Colon into reliable pitching studs, and left overs like Gregory Polanco into 2-for-4-with-a-homer hitting studs.

Kaline: L, 4 – 7. (.222, .286, .444; 11.7 ip, 8 er).  The gods seem to be settling their scores with the Drive, as they slowly sag after the Manaea no-hitter. Trevor Williams and Junior Guerra put up matching 5 ip, 4 er starts, too much for Aaaron Judge to make up for with his walk, single and homer in four at bats.

Flint Hill: L, 7 – 8. (.429, .515, .536;  2.3 ip, 3 er).  Such balance a poise not to let  a little runaway offensive performance make them soar above others, leaving them behind a little.  Manuel Margot’s 3 for 4 with a double was nicely offset by Matt Barnes little sextuple chulk (1/3 of an inning, 6 earned runs allowed).

Pittsburgh: W, 9 – 7. (.414, .469, .621; 1 ip, 0 er).  Look at these two lions of the league, laying low in 8th and 9th places. Can there be any clearer proof that “No Team Left Behind” is more than just a nice sentiment?

DC: W 2, L (-1); 9 – 1 .(.385, .469, .885;  19.7 ip, 7 er).  Just when the Balk thought they might be about to be left behind, they explode! Addison Russell walks twice, homers, doubles and singles to remind us he can hit. Carlos Carrasco tosses a complete game with 14 k’s to remind us he can pitch.  And the Pears pause to let the Balk catch up.  See? We had your back.

Peshastin:  “W”, 3 – 4. (.182, .308, .227;  2 ip, 0 er).  Today it LOOKS like the Pears are being left behind.  But we know they aren’t really, for three reasons.  First, Mitch Haniger!  The man came to the plate 4 times. He walked three of them, and homered the other time. No team with Mitch Haniger on it will ever be left behind. Second, for some reason Ozzie Albies’ stats are not getting credited to his team result so far in May.  They did in April, but I’m apparently forgetting to do something I did in April to salvage the situation.  I’ll work on this and get it fixed as soon as I can.  But in the meantime, Pear master, remember: you’re probably almost certainly not really being left behind. And third:  the league’s motto is “No team left behind.” So it’s impossible.  It must just look like it from your angle.

AL East
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
New York Yankees	26	10	.722	—
Boston Red Sox	25	11	.694	1
Old Detroit Wolverines	20	16	.564	5.7
Toronto Blue Jays	20	17	.541	6.5
Flint Hill Tornadoes	19	17	.526	7.1
Tampa Bay Rays	15	19	.441	10
Baltimore Orioles	9	27	.250	17

NL East
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Atlanta Braves	21	14	.600	—
Canberra Kangaroos	21	14	.591	0.3
Philadelphia Phillies	21	15	.583	0.5
Washington Nationals	20	18	.526	2.5
New York Mets	18	17	.514	3
D.C. Balk	14	21	.393	7.2
Miami Marlins	13	23	.361	8.5

AL Central
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Cleveland Indians	18	18	.500	—
Minnesota Twins	15	17	.469	1
Pittsburgh Alleghenys	15	21	.420	2.9
Detroit Tigers	15	21	.417	3
Kansas City Royals	12	24	.333	6
Chicago White Sox	9	25	.265	8

NL Central
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Cottage Cheese	21	13	.619	—
St. Louis Cardinals	20	14	.588	1.1
Pittsburgh Pirates	21	16	.568	1.6
Milwaukee Brewers	21	16	.568	1.6
Chicago Cubs	19	15	.559	2.1
Brookland Outs	19	15	.559	2.1
Cincinnati Reds	10	27	.270	12.6

AL West
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Houston Astros	24	15	.615	—
Los Angeles Angels	22	14	.611	0.5
Seattle Mariners	20	15	.571	2
Kaline Drive	21	18	.535	3.1
Oakland A’s	18	19	.486	5
Haviland Dragons	18	21	.473	5.5
Texas Rangers	15	24	.385	9

NL West
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Arizona Diamondbacks	24	12	.667	—
Portland Rosebuds	22	14	.597	2.5
Colorado Rockies	21	16	.568	3.5
San Francisco Giants	19	18	.514	5.5
Los Angeles Dodgers	16	20	.444	8
Peshastin Pears	14	22	.382	10.2
San Diego Padres	14	24	.368	11