Random Marks While Grading

EFL Standings for 2019

Canberra: W 1, L 1; 19 – 10. (43 PA, .378, .465, .595; 7.3 ip, 3 er, 3.68 ERA). It’s awe inspiring how these top teams casually roll off a 1.060 daily OPS, with Jose Abreu and Tim Anderson combining for 8 for 11 with 2 homers and a double and OPSes of 2.200 and 2.000 respectively.  Just no big deal. Because two other guys were 1.000 or over, too.  And out of 10 batters, only one failed to reach base safely. And when Corey Kluber shockingly allows 3 earned runs in only 5 innings, the bullpen finishes the game (for EFL purposes) scorelessly.  It must be the case that Wolverine teams were once able to do this.  But that seems like hoary legend to Old Detroiters now, no more credible than Gandalf or King Arthur or some old coot’s tale about having seen Sasquatch. (Sure you did, Granddad.)  Something from a fairy tale. Except the ‘Roos are living the fairy tale. Why them and not us?  Apparently because we are not made of the same magical stuff, I guess… we are, or have become, plodding flesh, while they are kissed by gods, or at least by elves. What else could it be?

Flint Hill: DNP, (-2) – 3. (37 PA, .258, .250, .581; 11.7 ip, 8 er, 6.17 ERA).  See?  Even the Mighty Tornados cannot stand up to the fairy-dust-charged Kangaroos. If you show a streak of mere mortality (e.g., James Paxton allowing 3 whole runs in only 5.7 innings; 4 hitters combining to go 0 for 11) while in first place, you don’t stay in first place.

Portland: W 1, L 1; 12 – 8. (19 PA, .214, .421, .850;  8.7 ip, 2 er , 2.08 ERA)  Not a lot of playing time was contributed Friday, especially considering it was a double-header. The Rosebud’s were lucky to avoid a double loss.  What saved them from such a horrible fate?  Three HBP in only 19 plate appearances!  In 2019, through Friday  there have been 323 HBP in 772 total games, or .418 per game. Last year there were 1922 HBP in 4862 games, or .395 per game.  I thought we were seeing abnormally high numbers of HBP — and I was right. We’re up about 5% from last year.

Pittsburgh: W, 7 – 4. (36 PA, .241, .389, .552; 1 ip, 0 er, 0.oo ERA). So I took my last break from grading to erase my bad Doodle poll and put another one in its place. If we ever get together it will be a miracle, a direct intervention by a Deity giving up on my organizational abilities. Sort of like if Tyler Flowers ever had a 4 for 4 day with 2 homers.

Kaline: W 2, L (-1); 8 – (-1). (40 PA, .333, .450, .697; 13.3 ip, 4 er, 2.70 ERA).  Another team treading in the same territory as the Kangaroos today.  Marcus Stroman, whose complex history most of us have watched from the front row, starting with the glorious heights  Kaline’s super-early first round draft pick, and immediately plunging to his season-ending injury before the season had even begun, pitched one of the gems the Drive envisioned: 7 ip, 0 er.  And six Drives drove the ball to or past the 1.000 OPS mark.

Cottage: L, 2 – (-1).  (37 PA, .235, .289, .441; 11.7 ip, 3 er, 2.31 ERA).  Ok, the pixie dust seems to be thinning out in this region of the standings.  The Cheese still got a magical day of pitching — actually, a perfect day for Tyler Skaggs and two relievers covering a total of 5.7 innings. The other 5 were by Danny Duffy who has gone a long time since he once (supposedly) dwelt in the magical realm inhabited by the Kangaroos.

Peshastin: W 1, L 1; 10 – 11. (47 PA, .250, .362, .400; 9.7 ip, 5 er, 4.66 ERA) Now we are entering the fully prosaic world. No pixie dust.  Nothing legendary or awe-inspiring going on. Just people working hard, in the pit, sweating to do well for themselves, their families, and their communities.  Peshastin broke even, essentially, on a double-header day thanks to unlikely heroes JaCoby Jones (1 homer and a walk in 4 plate appearances) and Justus Sheffield (who did not blow the Mariners’ early lead even though he surrendered 2 runs in 3 ip in his major league debut).

DC: W 0, L 2; 12 – 17. (28 PA, .360, .429, .520; 4.3 ip, 4 er , 8.31 ERA).  Now we arrive in rougher territory. “Here be monsters” it says on the older maps.  This will be my last post for this little break. I finished an entire batch of papers, so I thought I’d celebrate by blasting out several team updates in a row.  But now that they’re getting grimmer, I think I’ll go back to grading for a while. Here the grim, or the grime, whichever it is that forms the substance of grimness and stimulates grimaces, is entirely due to Alex Cobb: 4 ip, 4 er.  He undid an entire game’s worth of great hitting, Or rather, Cobb and the other game’s worth of replacements.  OK, back to work.

Old Detroit: (-1) – 5. (27 PA, .183, .333, .409; 11.7 ip, 10 er, 7.71 ERA). I spent most of the last half hour looking for my glasses.  No dice. I’m using an old half-broken pair now. And steeling myself to look at the mangled corpse of the Wolverine season. Eloy Jimenez came off the bereavement list, hit a single his first time up, and the local malevolent deities punished him by having him sprain his ankle four feet up on the left field wall while he was trying (and failing) to catch a fly ball.  Madison Bumgarner surrendered 5 runs in 5.7 innings, Robbie Ray sort of helped with 3 runs in 5 innings, and with my putative aces out of the game, my stud pitching prospect Josh James chulked. We are still in 9th place only because the malice of our demons is both cruel and clever: much of the badness of what happened Friday is in storage, to be released the next time the W’s play a game.

Bellingham: L, 3 – 3.  (24 PA, .217, .250, .348; 8 ip, 3 er , 3.38 ERA). This was almost a win.  The pitchers deserved a win — or at least Mike Fiers (7 ip, 2 er) did. Craig Stammen came in to face the Nationals, whose announcers gushed over how great he was for them a few years back and how he almost never gives up homers, but couldn’t finish the part about the homers before Nationals phenom Carter Kieboom, playing in his first game in the majors,  kieboomed Stammen’s second pitch  over the center field fence for the first hit of his career.  It tied the game for the Nationals at 3 to 3 (who lost anyway), but it turned the Cascades’ win into an extremely narrow 3 – 3 loss. See? He’s a loser.  You don’t want him in the upcoming draft, which we haven’t even gotten scheduled yet, awaiting some Doodle responses to the Really Really Final Doodle Survey.

Haviland: L, 3 – 6. (28 PA, .222, .250, .370; 3 ip, 1 er, 3.00 ERA).  The Kieboom story lifted my spirits too much to get right back to grading.  One needs to be in a sour, suspicious mood to make sure one doesn’t start handing out A’s to the undeserving.  Let’s see if Haviland can bring me back down to several feet under the earth. Hmmm. Nothing very outstanding here.  Yasiel Puig hit a homer and OPSed 1.400.  5 other Dragons went 0 for 5.  This is a pretty good day in our neck of the woods. The Dragons are 0.1 games closer to the Wolverines than they were yesterday. Not good, but what’s one more bump in the shins?

Brookland: L, 5 – 17. (37 PA, .250, .351, .469; 3 ip, 8 er, 24.00 ERA)  Now that’s a rotten day.  Good hitting, especially for us proletarians, but a nasty chulk from Carlos Rodon (who did all that damage all by himself).  Shoot, it’s bad enough it might keep the W’s out of the cellar tomorrow, too. Cody Bellinger, on the other hand, homered again. As he has 4 out of the last 8 games he’s played. He has 13 homers in 27 games this year… probably will hit another one today, to keep up his every-other-game pace. You heard it here first.

Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2019