Life in All its Glory – The Official EFL Web Site

Perhaps I am appreciating the complexities of life at a deeper-than-normal level because I spent the best part of Friday at Ralph Beebe’s memorial service, along with the Pears, Dragons, and Alleghenys. It was probably the best memorial service I’ve ever attended.

Ralph left instructions for how the service should go, who should speak, what songs to sing, etc. He specifically directed his grand-daughter Cherice to show the congregation the urn containing his ashes, and invite us to celebrate with him his success in losing over 200 pounds in a single day.

EFL Standings for 2019

EFL
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB	RS	RA
Portland Rosebuds	53	24	.683	—	468.3	319.9
Flint Hill Tornadoes	48	27	.640	3.6	487.6	365.5
Old Detroit Wolverines	43	32	.577	8.3	444.5	375.6
Peshastin Pears	39	38	.508	13.5	396.9	391.5
Pittsburgh Alleghenys	38	37	.505	13.7	363.9	358.4
Canberra Kangaroos	38	38	.505	13.7	416.2	415.3
Haviland Dragons	37	40	.478	15.8	400.0	412.6
Kaline Drive	37	40	.478	15.8	333.7	352.4
Cottage Cheese	34	41	.451	17.8	418.4	457.8
Bellingham Cascades	32	43	.429	19.4	360.4	420.1
Brookland Outs	31	44	.410	20.9	376.4	453.6
D.C. Balk	26	50	.348	25.6	323.5	444.5

Portland: W, 5 – 5. (54 PA, .265, .333, .388; 22.3 ip, 10 er, 4.03 ERA)

That man Eric Sogard went 4 for 6, but they were all singles, so Cristin Stewart surpassed him on the day going 3 for 5 with a homer. The league wants you to know, little prince, how much it appreciates you treading water for a day.

Flint Hill: W, 6 – 6. (40 PA, .226, .400, .290; 11.7 ip, 10 er, 7.71 ERA).

The Tornados also mercifully treaded water… although that seems to undersell the drama of a day in which

* Mike Trout OPSed 1.417 again.

* The rest of the Tornado offense mostly consisted of 6 walks and 3 hbp.

* The pitching staff mimicked a slightly below average replacement pitching staff.

That doesn’t look so much like treading water. It looks like a panicking non-swimmer being rescued by an outstanding lifeguard (Trout — this swimming motif fits him perfectly!) and a bunch of life preservers (free passes).

Old Detroit W, 8 – 2. (52 PA, .292, .346, .500; 17 ip, 3 er, 1.59 ERA).

The universe really shouldn’t reward a whiner like Wolverine management, who moaned yesterday about losing a little ground in the standings due to bad pitching. Later the same day, Walker Buehler put in a complete game with only 2 runs scored, and Eric Lauer did 7 ip, 1 er. And Mallex Smith, of all people, went 3 for 3 with two walks and a double to key a solid offense. Life is good. Even if we are still 8.3 games back.

Peshastin: W, 9 – 7. (37 PA, .323, .432, .613; 1 ip, 0 er, 0.00 ERA)

Peshastin rose to the top of the three-way scramble for 4th place, thanks to the offensive leadership of Christian Vazquez (1 for 2 with a homer), Juan Soto (2 for 3 with a double, a triple, and a walk — sort of a junior cycle), and Victor Robles (1 for 2 with a triple and 2 hit-by-pitches.).

Pittsburgh: “W”, 5 – 6. (43 PA, .333, .395, .359; 11.3 ip, 8 er, 6.35 ERA)

There are elements here of a good day, especially the high batting average supplement by walks for a strong OBP. But other elements dampen the spirits, like crummy pitching, and only one extra base (Profar’s double).

Canberra: “L”, 8 – 7. (38 PA, .303, .395, .576; 2 ip, 1 er, 4.50 ERA).

Also a mixed bag: great hitting, just a walk from an Edgar Martinez Day. The pitching wasn’t terrible — well, it was, with 2 walks and 2 hits (including a homer — a 1.025 OPS, maybe more if the other hit was a double or triple) in two innings. Baseball Prospectus’ dodgy FIP formula predicts that kind of pitching would give up 10.6 runs per game. So maybe it was a blessing that the “K’s” added 5 innings of replacement pitching instead of 5 more innings of Ryne Harper and Touki Toussaint. You can erase replacement innings with real innings, but you can’t erase bad real innings.

Haviland: W, 13 – 4. (45 PA, .326, .356, .767; 12 ip, 8 er, 6.00 ERA.)

Dragon pitching was dodgy, too, but it did replace 5 innings of replacement pitching, damping the discouraging effects of a 6.00 ERA. With outstanding hitting featuring seven players OPSing 1.000 or better, Haviland fans had a day to celebrate, topped off by sneaking past the Drive.

Kaline: “W”, 6 – 7. (46 PA, .256, .304, .465; no pitching).

Willy Adames leads off the table of Kaline stats today with 3 for 4 and a homer (2.250 OPS). It’s downhill from there, however, reaching 0.000 OPS when you get to the J’s, with Aaron Judge’s return from the VIL going as one would hope for a Yankee. (Even if he is also a Drive, against whom no one bears ill will.) (Sorry, Tom, that was an awful thing to say about your team, that it has offended no one. I just blurted it out without thinking. Please forgive me.)

Cottage: W, 12 – 12. (34 PA, .406, .441, .688; 5 ip, 6 er, 10.80 ERA.)

Ah, more of the tragedy of flawed humanity: capable of brilliance in one aspect of life (6 of 8 hitters OPSing 1.000 or better), and simultaneously prone to failure in other aspects (in this case, all due to the slants of Chase Anderson).

Bellingham: L, 1 – 10. (37 PA, .219, .324, .281; no pitching.)

I suppose, if humanity is reliably inconsistent, the Cascades can look forward to a better day when the pitchers show up in body, and the hitters show up in spirit. JP Crawford did both yesterday (3 for 4 with a walk), and so did Steven Vogt (2 doubles in 5 PAs), but other than that the Cascades were barely visible.

Brookland: W, 5 – 2. ( 44 PA, .231, .318, .487; 11.3 ip, 5 er, 3.97 ERA)

Friday was a perfectly fine day in Brookland (leaving out the weather, which Ryan could report on but I can’t). Manny Machado homered, Dallas Keuchel debuted without stinking too badly (5 ip, 3 er), and the Outs earned a win.

DC: L, 1 – 3. (44 PA, .195, .227, .293; 8 ip, 3 er, 3.38 ERA)

Joe Musgrove pitched a great game ( 7 ip, 1 er) but got no support from his offense, other than an Addison Russell solo homer. Solo for the Balk, that is — for the Cubs it was a two-run blast. One of the “glories” of the EFL!

Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2019

AL East
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
New York Yankees	48	27	.640	—
Flint Hill Tornadoes	48	27	.640	—
Tampa Bay Rays	44	32	.579	4.5
Old Detroit Wolverines	43	32	.577	4.7
Boston Red Sox	42	35	.545	7
Toronto Blue Jays	27	49	.355	21.5
Baltimore Orioles	21	55	.276	27.5

NL East
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Atlanta Braves	44	32	.579	—
Philadelphia Phillies	39	36	.520	4.5
Canberra Kangaroos	38	38	.505	5.6
Washington Nationals	37	38	.493	6.5
New York Mets	36	40	.474	8
Miami Marlins	28	46	.378	15
D.C. Balk	26	50	.348	17.5

AL Central
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Minnesota Twins	49	26	.653	—
Cleveland Indians	40	35	.533	9
Pittsburgh Alleghenys	38	37	.505	11.1
Chicago White Sox	36	37	.493	12
Bellingham Cascades	32	43	.429	16.8
Detroit Tigers	26	45	.366	21
Kansas City Royals	26	50	.342	23.5

NL Central
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Chicago Cubs	41	34	.547	—
Milwaukee Brewers	40	36	.526	1.5
St. Louis Cardinals	39	36	.520	2
Cincinnati Reds	36	38	.486	4.5
Pittsburgh Pirates	34	40	.459	6.5
Cottage Cheese	34	41	.451	7.2
Brookland Outs	31	44	.410	10.3

AL West
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Houston Astros	48	29	.623	—
Texas Rangers	40	36	.526	7.5
Oakland A’s	40	37	.519	8
Los Angeles Angels	38	39	.494	10
Haviland Dragons	37	40	.478	11.2
Kaline Drive	37	40	.478	11.2
Seattle Mariners	34	46	.425	15.5

NL West
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Portland Rosebuds	53	24	.683	—
Los Angeles Dodgers	52	25	.675	0.6
Colorado Rockies	40	35	.533	11.6
Peshastin Pears	39	38	.508	13.5
San Diego Padres	38	38	.500	14.1
Arizona Diamondbacks	38	39	.494	14.6
San Francisco Giants	32	42	.432	19.1

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