I don’t know how to introduce today’s update considering the unprecedented day yesterday — unprecedented even in the context of an entirely unprecedented season — with some games postponed as a protest against the nation’s ongoing inability to deliver basic equal treatment to its citizens, let alone the equality of opportunity it promises.
Let that be the intro.
EFL Standings for 2020
| EFL | ||||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB | RS | RA |
| Kaline Drive | 20 | 12 | .626 | — | 155.8 | 120.1 |
| Haviland Dragons | 19 | 13 | .583 | 1.4 | 184.6 | 155.7 |
| D.C. Balk | 15 | 15 | .493 | 4.3 | 148.8 | 150.7 |
| Bellingham Cascades | 15 | 17 | .481 | 4.7 | 162.4 | 181.5 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 14 | 18 | .450 | 5.6 | 169.2 | 193.1 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 13 | 17 | .443 | 5.8 | 155.9 | 174.7 |
| Cottage Cheese | 13 | 17 | .431 | 6.1 | 140.8 | 163.0 |
| Peshastin Pears | 13 | 18 | .420 | 6.5 | 136.9 | 161.0 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 13 | 19 | .404 | 7.1 | 151.3 | 182.0 |
| Portland Rosebuds | 11 | 20 | .366 | 8.2 | 162.4 | 213.7 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 9 | 23 | .267 | 11.5 | 123.8 | 203.4 |
Kaline Drive: L, 0 – 2
| AVG: 0.048 | OBP: 0.130 | SLG: 0.048 | OPS: 0.178 | PA: 23 |
| ERA: 3.50 | WHIP: 1.068 | IP: 10.3 | |||||||||||
When an EFL pitcher throws a no-hitter (has that ever happened? I don’t remember! Was King Felix still a Wolverine for his perfect game? I don’t think so.), we will know it. The stats will be right there: Lucas Giolito, 9 ip, 0 h. But when an EFL team’s offense is subjected to a no-hitter, it will be by an anonymous random group of assassins.
The Drive were nearly no-hit yesterday. Only Aaron Judge managed a single single. True, there were only 23 PA, so this would have been a 7-inning game, a no-no with an asterisk. Not only are the Dragons creeping up on the Drive, but they can be waylaid at any moment by random passersby.
Haviland Dragons: “W”, 6 – 7
| AVG: 0.225 | OBP: 0.326 | SLG: 0.425 | OPS: 0.751 | PA: 46 |
| ERA: 8.37 | WHIP: 2.093 | IP: 4.3 | |||||||||||
Three Haviland “relievers” combined to complete 4.3 innings, surrendering 4.0 earned runs. I wonder if they remembered who was supposed to feel relieved by their work? Probably the biggest relief was felt on Whidbey Island. The Wizard of Whidbey should probably send them a card. Because the offense was fine — not overpowering, but fine, including homers by the twin Brandon Dragons (Lowe and Nimmo). Brendan Rodgers got a hit, but was shut out of the homer parade due to spelling.
DC Balk: W 1, L 1; 14 – 12
| AVG: 0.361 | OBP: 0.410 | SLG: 0.528 | OPS: 0.938 | PA: 39 |
| ERA: 3.00 | WHIP: 1.500 | IP: 6.0 | |||||||||||
Happy Edgar Martinez Day! Which is redundant, by the way: any Edgar Martinez Day is happy. It’s like saying “Happy Happy Day!”
All 9 Balky batters reached base safely. Nico Hoerner did it 4 times in 4 trips (3 singles and a walk). Sam Hilliard included a homer in his two hits, while Cameron Maybin had two doubles among his three. Mike Clevinger, released from the COVID-19 dunce-hat corner, pitched all 6 strong innings.
Bellingham Cascades: W, 9 – (-1)
| AVG: 0.318 | OBP: 0.385 | SLG: 0.773 | OPS: 1.157 | PA: 27 |
| ERA: 1.42 | WHIP: 0.945 | IP: 12.7 | |||||||||||
Dakota Hudson pitched the standard good game for 2020: 6 ip, 2 er. Then Mike Fiers pitched a 2020 great game: 6 ip, 0 er. Luis Garcia finished up with 0.7 scoreless.
All that would have been enough for a happy day in Bellingham. But the hitters matched them. 6 hitters produced that sterling line, led by Rowdy Tellez’ 3 for 4 with two homers. I personally find this troubling since I had never heard of Rowdy Tellez until he showed up on the Bellingham roster. But they’re going bonkers in Bellingham! Their Cascades leapt 1.1 games closer to first place. If they do it a few more times, the EFL pennant race will be an all-Puget-Sound affair. And, maybe best of all, they passed the Cheese on their way up.
Flint Hill: “L”, 8 – 7.
| AVG: 0.290 | OBP: 0.361 | SLG: 0.484 | OPS: 0.845 | PA: 36 |
| ERA: 3.75 | WHIP: 2.500 | IP: 2.4 | |||||||||||
Jamie is learning the first principle of EFL updating, so memorably perfected by his predecessor: never draw attention to yourself. Wednesday he took this to a new level: his team quietly won a game without doing anything spectacular, and to make sure it wasn’t conspicuous, got the database to call the win a loss.
Sure, Max Kepler hit a lead-off homer. But the team damped things down right away. With all the turmoil in the middle of the standings, the Dragons sidled unnoticed a notch closer to the lead, reclaiming 5th place without fanfare.
Canberra Kangaroos: W 1, L 1; 3 – 2.
| AVG: 0.385 | OBP: 0.543 | SLG: 0.808 | OPS: 1.351 | PA: 35 |
| ERA: 3.40 | WHIP: 0.943 | IP: 5.3 | |||||||||||
Another Happy Happy Day… I mean Happy Edgar Day. The Kangaroos might be worthier of a repetitive celebratory greeting, considering they’ve spent so much of the season mired in the near-the-bottom quagmire with the Alleghenys and Rosebuds. But they escaped that mess, at least for a day, by stepping aside to let the Cheese complete their fall.
To be fair, the ‘Roos deserved to rise, after 5.3 strong innings from Kolby Allard, whoever he is, and a great day at the plate. Every Kangaroos batter reached base safely. In fact, all of them except Manuel Margot did so twice! And Michael Conforto did it 4 times in six plate appearances, including a homer and two walks.
Cottage: L, 0 – 8.
| AVG: 0.138 | OBP: 0.235 | SLG: 0.207 | OPS: 0.442 | PA: 34 |
Yes, all that upward movement in the standings I’ve been documenting is largely thanks to the Cheese, whose soufflé fell pretty hard Wednesday. No pitching provided the main ingredient, but pallid hitting added the kicker. It might have been even worse had Yoan Moncada not slashed two doubles to provide the only meat in the Cottage dish.
Peshastin: W 1, L 1; 5 – 1.
| AVG: 0.114 | OBP: 0.205 | SLG: 0.200 | OPS: 0.405 | PA: 39 |
| ERA: 9.00 | WHIP: 2.000 | IP: 1.0 | |||||||||||
That WHIP looks pretty imposing, with its ominous roundness. But it was only for 1 inning. The Pears apparently have lots of stored up pitching, so that ugly inning, pitched by the man named Genesis, did not disfigure their day any worse than the awful hitting. Still, when your pitchers’ WHIP is exactly 10 times your hitters’ slugging percentage, it may not be a good sign.
Pittsburgh: W, 6 – 4.
| AVG: 0.333 | OBP: 0.419 | SLG: 0.481 | OPS: 0.901 | PA: 31 |
| ERA: 1.50 | WHIP: 1.000 | IP: 6.0 | |||||||||||
Here we go — an honest, normal-feeling win. Seven Allegheny hitters assembled a nice, but not outlandish, batting line. Jon Gray had a very pretty, but not superhuman, outing. A clear, clean win resulted, without all that EFL folderol we so often have to deal with. It’s also nice to see Dansby Swanson have the kind of season everyone (outside of Arizona) has been hoping to see, including yesterday’s home run.
Portland: DNP, 0 – (-1).
| AVG: 0.208 | OBP: 0.367 | SLG: 0.375 | OPS: 0.742 | PA: 30 |
| ERA: 7.23 | WHIP: 1.752 | IP: 13.7 | |||||||||||
I want to thank Peshastin, Pittsburgh and Portland for arranging themselves in alphabetical order in the standings. This saved me precious seconds in writing this update. If the rest of you could take the cue and get yourselves properly organized, your updates could come a minute earlier every day — maybe two minutes!
Lots of pitching! All of it bad (except Daniel Norris’ two shutout innings). Trevor Williams was especially abused: 6 ip, 8 earned runs. I watched some of those innings. They were emblematic of the excruciating season the Pirates are having this year. Yes, Mark, even worse than the Rosebuds! When Trevor is with his EFL team, it’s almost like paradise compared to the Pirates.
On the other hand, recent pick-up Marcell Ozuna had another great day, 2 for 6 with a homer and a walk.
Old Detroit: W, 3 – 2. (really 2.6 – 2.2, long 11.5 to short 11.5)
| AVG: 0.172 | OBP: 0.200 | SLG: 0.379 | OPS: 0.579 | PA: 30 |
| ERA: 3.60 | WHIP: 1.500 | IP: 10.0 | |||||||||||
Dallas Keuchel pitched like a competent major-leaguer: 6 ip, 2 er. He will arrive in Kaline just in time, I think, to stave off those Dragons. Eloy Jimenez hit like a competent major-leaguer (2 for 4 with a homer). He is nevertheless sentenced to stay with Old Detroit to the bitter end this season. Everyone else played like a 2020 Wolverine, not really in the right league.
It looks like a clear win, like maybe the W’s should have gained at least a sliver in the standings, but when you take the W/L out to the first decimal, it turns out to be only a 2.6 – 2.2 win. We used to be a long 11.5 games out of first. Today we are celebrating being only a short 11.5 game out.
Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2020
| AL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Tampa Bay Rays | 21 | 11 | .656 | — |
| New York Yankees | 16 | 11 | .593 | 2.5 |
| Toronto Blue Jays | 15 | 14 | .517 | 4.5 |
| Baltimore Orioles | 14 | 16 | .467 | 6 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 14 | 18 | .450 | 6.6 |
| Boston Red Sox | 10 | 21 | .323 | 10.5 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 9 | 23 | .267 | 12.5 |
| NL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Atlanta Braves | 18 | 12 | .600 | — |
| Miami Marlins | 14 | 12 | .538 | 2 |
| D.C. Balk | 15 | 15 | .493 | 3.2 |
| Philadelphia Phillies | 12 | 14 | .462 | 4 |
| New York Mets | 13 | 16 | .448 | 4.5 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 13 | 17 | .443 | 4.7 |
| Washington Nationals | 11 | 17 | .393 | 6 |
| AL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Minnesota Twins | 20 | 12 | .625 | — |
| Chicago White Sox | 19 | 12 | .613 | 0.5 |
| Cleveland Indians | 19 | 12 | .613 | 0.5 |
| Bellingham Cascades | 15 | 17 | .481 | 4.6 |
| Detroit Tigers | 13 | 16 | .448 | 5.5 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 13 | 19 | .404 | 7.1 |
| Kansas City Royals | 12 | 19 | .387 | 7.5 |
| NL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Chicago Cubs | 18 | 12 | .600 | — |
| St. Louis Cardinals | 11 | 9 | .550 | 2 |
| Milwaukee Brewers | 13 | 15 | .464 | 4 |
| Cottage Cheese | 13 | 17 | .431 | 5.1 |
| Cincinnati Reds | 11 | 17 | .393 | 6 |
| Pittsburgh Pirates | 7 | 19 | .269 | 9 |
| AL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Oakland A’s | 22 | 10 | .688 | — |
| Kaline Drive | 20 | 12 | .626 | 2 |
| Haviland Dragons | 19 | 13 | .583 | 3.3 |
| Houston Astros | 17 | 14 | .548 | 4.5 |
| Seattle Mariners | 12 | 19 | .387 | 9.5 |
| Texas Rangers | 11 | 19 | .367 | 10 |
| Los Angeles Angels | 10 | 22 | .313 | 12 |
| NL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Los Angeles Dodgers | 22 | 9 | .710 | — |
| San Diego Padres | 18 | 13 | .581 | 4 |
| Colorado Rockies | 16 | 15 | .516 | 6 |
| San Francisco Giants | 15 | 16 | .484 | 7 |
| Peshastin Pears | 13 | 18 | .420 | 9 |
| Arizona Diamondbacks | 13 | 19 | .406 | 9.5 |
| Portland Rosebuds | 11 | 20 | .366 | 10.7 |